Sunday, November 5, 2017

Dare I Call This "The Exploding Entry"


Good morning!  Trying to make the best of it here.  I'm really struggling.  More on that later.  
Yesterday, George and I got up and had coffee and I began working on my wardrobe for next week (figuring out what to wear and lining it up for ironing).  Haven't really had time to iron yet, but I did get most of our clothes and towels washed.  I have mounds of pets blankets that I need to wash though.  Worked in the house, and got a few things done until time to shower so we could be out of the house by noon to Christmas shop.  

I guess it's a good thing George pushes me to get out of the house.  I would have holed up all day yesterday and cleaned and organized and worked on our much needy nest.  We have been so busy.  And it's all just non - stop, never enough time to do anything but the basics.  Cleaning comes last on the list.  But I'm trying.  

We did leave at noon - ish and I was able to get some fall pics from the yard before we headed out, which I'll post one here and share the rest through the week.  I'm really getting behind on the sharing of pics.  My bad.  Just always on the fly in the a.m. 
  

So we went to Publix and got my banana and my RX refills for the BP meds and the sugar pill that I take at night.  While there I asked the pharmacists about leg cramps and whether to take Magnesium or just eat bananas, lol.  She pointed me to some leg cramp meds that is a homeopathic type of med.  So I bought those.  Then we went to a local gift shop and bought a few things on our Christmas shopping excursion.  We then went to an antique shop to look for a little tiny table to put in the sunroom.  Didn't really see it.  But it was fun looking.  

We went to an open house at The Basement, and I bought some art for my office, for a surprisingly good price.  It's a beach scene but has the colors that I wanted.  George is going to add the picture wire to the back and give me the things to hang it with.  And that will be crossed off my list.  I had hoped that I would find something while we were out and about.  It's very nice.  I still have one wall to find something for.  Really not sure what will go there.  I'll take a pic when I get this hung up.  

I did see something I liked, but refused to buy it for myself.  This owl would be so cute for the sun room since we have an owl that hoots a lot in the early mornings!



I also was very fond of this.  But I took a pic and can make my own. 



Also we went to Kohl's.  And I was able to find some gifts there and also able to find my boots.  They had a boot ad that showed some cute short boots to wear with pants.  They are black.  And for a good price.  I need to also find some to wear with khaki's.  We'll look when we go out.  I found a beautiful shawl sweater that looked really good on me.  George threw it around me and said "get it and I'll wrap it up".   So he has a few things for me to wrap from our excursion.   

We then went to get a beer at Donelson's Homegrown Taproom.  It was very nice.  



So....we had an awesome cheese tray there.  And we were ready for a good brew from the local breweries.  This is only a tap room but it is from the locals. 



How awesome is this cheese tray? I ate my share but did not really care for the goat cheese.  I can do sheep, but not goat.  

We played a game in there - something called Exploding Kittens.  I lost, I got the exploding Kitten card.  Why on earth someone would call a game that is beyond me.  

Anyway then we went on to McNamara's for an Irish dinner.  I had salmon patties with a roumalade sauce, mashed potatoes and green beans.  Then we headed home.  I think it was about 8:15 or so when we arrived.  I took some of our Christmas sacks upstairs and George took dogs out.  When I arrived upstairs I saw that Maisy had pushed through the dining room and kitchen separation doors (she butts it open) and had gone in the nice living area/dining room and had an explosion of her own.  In about 12 different spots.  So I began cleaning on that.  But OH NO I did not touch the Spot Bot, but I did try to get all the stuff picked up before he ran the carpet over it.  At that moment in time I actually said "this makes me not want to have dogs anymore".  I love them.  I do.  But this is a bunch of ____, literally.  The dogs are not letting me sleep and they are ruining our carpets.  And THAT makes me in such a bad mood and I was already in one.  

I just feel like giving up, I really do.  I'm so frustrated with life all the way around.  But it's ok I'm trying, struggling.  So since George is all "in the KNOW" on the carpet cleaner, he had the fun task of spending much of the night cleaning the carpet.  I went to bed.  It took about 3 tries of going but I went to bed.  Let's see.  Maisy wanted to play and not sleep.  She wanted up and down from the bed.   I got up the 2nd time to put her back on the bed and she squealed and so did I.  Apparently I grabbed her too close to her leg or something and she must have thought I was going to hurt her.  When she did this it scared me and I jerked and reinjured my right arm.  I then remembered while putting on my Icy Hot to the arm that I needed to take the leg cramp medicine.  So I took that.  I fell into a deep sleep but as I did, I felt that every muscle on my right side was about to fall off my body.  I had pain in my ankle, my toe, my leg, my knee, my shoulder, my arm, my wrist.  The meds was trying to fight and ward off something. I noticed yesterday that I felt bad and had no energy and basically it was hard to even move a muscle.  

It occurred to me this morning that having had so much sugar last week could have done this.  It used to do my Dad that way.  I've had cake and birthday cake, and cookies, and chocolate and Halloween candy.  It's quite a bit more sugar than I normally have.  I think it is impacting me physically and mentally (with moodiness, irritability, and not being happy with anything or anyone).  

I want my ME back.  I want to feel good, feel healthy, be able to move and I want my arm to be back to normal.  So I'm going to have to really work at trying to avoid the sugar.  Going to have to really work at eating better.  More nutrients.  

Well, I need to go - I'm really running behind.  

But I DO want to say that someone thought George was being abusive.  Well perhaps so in that moment.  He certainly wasn't being fair.  But you see he was dished it right back b/c now I'm evading the clean up of pet mess in the house and he has to do it alone now.  In a way, that's abuse too.  ;-)  It all works out in the end.  And when he doesn't let me talk, he ends up having to hear me in the end as well.  And he always pays for it when he's done wrong.  I don't like conflict, so I go into silent mode, shut out, turn it off, and live my own life.  So that is not really fair either.  I'm not want to want to talk it out usually unless the other person goes first.  I'd much rather avoid the conflict, steam over it, blog about it and resurface 24-48 hours all better.  I guess it's a Southern thing.  I probably learned this.  I will harbor it for a long time b/c I see what abruptness and shouting can do, so I retract from anything that would make me or someone want to shout.  I retreat.  I shut down.  I will let it fester under the surface if it is something that continues.  And then one day I will Explode all my feelings at once.  Maybe not in a yell,  unless someone is yelling at me, but they'll all come out one way or another.  And then there it is.  lol  

So neither of us are very good in our relationship.  But we do know each other really well.  We both know what buttons to push and when to retreat.  And we often irritate each other, sometimes I think on purpose.  I'm not very good at turning the other cheek, nor being a subjective door mat.  He has never laid a physical hand on me.  But we often do probably mentally abuse each other - just to get our own way or to irritate one another.  But we have been married for 26 years.  It's quite frankly a cat and mouse and control issue.  We both like to call the shots.  And quite frankly we both DO in different ways.  He's lucky that I roll with things and am pretty easy to please in most situations.  What we do, where we go, who we see, what we eat, how we do something.  I'm only a BEAR about having my time at home, how we disciplined Kate, being able to buy big ticket items when I want them, and when he says he knows what I'm thinking when he doesn't, and when he won't let me have my say, or I think he's being too cheap (which is mainly on big items).   Those are really the only things that push my buttons.  The rest of the life is a breeze.    So we do abuse each other I'm sure just by being ourselves as we like to control a few things.  I never like anyone to control me.  They can call the shots all day long for all I care, but cross me, don't trust me, or think bad of me when I've been serving you all day long = then we have an issue.  lol 

I'm pretty good at taking up for myself.  I don't take abuse - I sling it back.  So no worries.    Maybe I should do more turning of the cheek and praying.  But my ego is too big for that.  ha. 

And I'll just say that I love the Hubster, regardless of our spat over the carpet machine.  Over all he does have a big heart.  Maybe not for me, but for some.  He bought 5 children he doesn't know, their Christmas.  We wrapped that stuff this morning. 

He did hug me yesterday - not to say he was sorry, but that is what it was.  He wanted a hug to give our day a brand new start.  And we had a good day.   So it's all good.  That is why I feel I can talk about spats here.  Everyone has them in their marriage.  If we can talk about them, then I can laugh later.  ;-)  And I'll at least be smiling when I see a pee spot and know I never have to clean it anymore.  ;-)  I'll probably give in, but...might as well enjoy a week or so of - retaliation.  

5 comments:

  1. Well second time lucky.......was trying to say, I'm so pleased you had a good shopping day and managed to get a few gifts...including the one that George has put away for you...he is really a good man isn't he.But like most men want it their way...we all have different ways of dealing with them LOL.....sorry that Masie is having so many issues this week, I wonder if perhaps you could encourage her to sleep down beside your bed, in her own bed rather than ON your bed...my Masy has just recently decided to sleep in her own bed by mine so long as I keep patting her, just I think to reassure her I'm there and love her....there have even been a few nights when she has got up and come through here....she has two beds ! Plus mine LOL...its horrid to think that tomorrow is back to work day...but think of it another way it's nearer Christmas that's always fun for you xxxxx

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  2. Second comment Sonya...just went back to yesterdays comments to see who had written about the ...abuse.....it's quite clear she has not had such a long happy marriage as you and George have had.....oh yes, he may not be lovey dovey but there are other ways that tell you he loves you..Just the same as you yourself love him but don't have to be always saying that. Indeed I think it is a sign of a good honest marriage if you can be honest with yourselves...shout scream later forget.....I think you and George are a great pair xxxx

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  3. Good for you getting so much shopping done. Glad you had some good food to help keep that energy level up. Dogs are a lot of work and the expense is why I no longer have any. They are a lot of fun and companionship too and I miss having one, but don't miss the work involved. No marriage is perfect and everyone has their spats especially when tired and stressed. Good you have the weekends to do things together and enjoy it all.

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  4. your Christmas shopping excursion sounded like fun plus you got alot accomplished too. that little hoot owl was precious, and the plants in the bottles were awesome too.

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  5. Marriage is a lot of work. I think the older the man gets the more stubborn nd contrary they get. They are just over grown boys. I hope you have a good week.

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