Sunday, November 26, 2017
Devos and ReDirection
Good morning! Have had good sleep. We came back home from Mom's yesterday, and unloaded and I began a load of laundry and unpacking a few things.
I tried to do some shopping on line. I just didn't really see anything else that I thought would work for anyone. It seems you have to know what you want for folks. Otherwise it just takes hours to sort through websites and look. I love shopping on line, especially with free shipping, but it's just not the same I guess. I do better at finding unique things for people - out physically shopping. I guess we put a lot of hours into that too. But we usually find success.
I started on the big mounds of laundry that I seem to be behind on since we have been gone so much lately. We ate a pizza for dinner and watched Diners, Drive-in's and Dives (or whatever that show is). I was not in the mood for anything heavy like Soprano's. Then I tried to read and that was a mistake. lol I became so sleepy. So I ended up going to bed at 7:30.
I woke up a bit when George came to bed and perhaps another time. But for the most part I slept til 5 something. I love the fact that I've been able to get some sleep this weekend. It's hard to come by sometimes - mainly b/c of the dogs. Tugie, the 16 year old, specifically. Life is always more rosy and more happy when I've had sleep.
Well, so I'm up this morning - rebooted laundry and have several loads to do today. The coffee is flowing and very good this morning. The dogs have gone out for their first morning business and are fed and back to sleep, and the sun has somehow come up behind me.
George and I are taking the day off from church to recoup. We need a day at home to chill. I have a devo I will be doing instead. I have several plans from YouVersion that have spoken to me as good ones for me to do. I need the quiet time anyway to focus on a few things. When things get busy, crazy, chaotic, and start sliding sideways on you and spinning out of control, it's time to step back, take a look at things, take inventory, and see how make life better, and how to be better as people, and figure out how we best serve those around us with the talents we have- whether it be family, work, or daily living. I've picked these plans for me for now. Some I'm almost finished with, others I'm halfway through, and some I haven't started. But these seem to be really good for me for right now.
*Bouncing Back from Disappointment
*How to Lead when You are Not in Charge
*Breaking Free - Beth Moore
*Who God Is?
*Make A Difference
*Spiritual Renewal Study
I think there has been such negativity in my life in the last few months AND it's been so busy that I've not really had much time to work on myself - other than a mini renewal on Sunday mornings (which gave some hope), but a lot has been dormant in my psyche. Since the blog is heart felt, I blog about the undercurrents, and have also shared with a few people that I considered to be friends and trustworthy (although probably weren't). I felt that if I parked the feelings here on the blog, I can be a better person actually in person and not carry those things that bother me with me (although I probably carry it anyway) so that I'm not complaining all the time about what needs improving or fixing. There is enough of that going all around us as it is. However, I think that fails me at times. I think I've worked so hard at becoming a better person so that I do not say everything I'm thinking like I've been formerly trained to do. So I actually hold in a lot - to my detriment and then seethe over it later - and it seeps out.
It always astounds me that I can try so hard to be a good person, but yet the devil gets involved and meanders through with his snakelike ways, and tries to ruin things. I am a person that "feels" things more intensely than many. Very sensitive, and a bit shy, although I try hard to be outgoing. God made me that way, and there is not much I can do about it, but continue to study his word and try to be the person he needs me to be and try to be the person that has a loving and serving heart, and I'm so far from that right now. I get caught up in my agenda - b/c that is what I think I'm supposed to do, called to do, that I sometimes lose sight of the big picture. I've always felt we needed to do the big list of "to do's". To me that was life's big thing. Getting the list done.
Of course in most areas of life, I've had to set my own to do list. If you have no direction, you chart your own course right? Sometimes you get off course, or even get blown off course, sometimes you chase things on the horizon, and find that what you were chasing is not even there. Sometimes you find yourself on an island by yourself. Or an island stranded with people with whom you had rather not be. lol But I'm letting God on board now and he is the Captain. I think I had him asleep down below deck somewhere. I think I'm in the process of being thrown overboard but He is sending out the life preserver. ;-) I love making analogies. And one day the Big Ship will come in. But til then - life is NOT worth being unhappy. Oh hell no. It is NOT. It is not worth being mistreated, misunderstood, misconstrued and being hurt over it either.
Being sensitive you also think that everything is about you. Sometimes it is not, sometimes it is. All in all, it doesn't really matter in the end. At the end of the day, your soul is what matters, your family. It all needs to be God led. Our days need to be God led, to keep the devil from meandering in our business, deceiving us, and deceiving others with lies and uncertainty.
As I've mentioned - the devil has been attacking hard every since George and I found a church we both liked worshiping alongside our good friends Richard and Kathy. I have to remember though I cannot control people around me. I can only control me. And I can do better. I can only improve with my own actions and beliefs.
And so I think the plans will help me and lead me as I do some assessment and listen to his leading. God loves, God protects, and He leads those that love him. He will set the paths straight. I believe that with all my heart. Some days I have to remind myself of that. I need to let him take the burdens for me, b/c he said he would. I'm resting my weary heart of much and taking some time off for self study and rejuvy.
And also today I will be taking up the fall decor, cleaning a bit and then starting to put the Christmas decor out. I am a week behind really. Time marches on. Christmas is coming. And we will be ready - come hell or high water, loss of jobs, family difficulty, health or unhealth - whatever comes. Lord, please don't have me be like Job - I'm too sensitive to bear it all like he did.
Also going to have to go have my arm seen to. It hurt all day yesterday and the day before. It hurt to stir, it hurt to try to reach the recliner button to lean the chair back, it hurts to pick a dog up, it hurts to reach out and up away from my body - especially if anything is in my hand. So I will need to go and get this checked out and maybe get some PT or heaven forbid surgery - but my gosh - it's starting to impact daily things I do. It got better (and there are good days and bad days) but just reaching out to stir a pot hurts, or to get a plate from the cabinet. So I guess I'll go ahead and make the appointment in the coming weeks. I have to have another appointment for meds renewal before long so I might wait and do both at once. We'll see. But something will have to be done b/c this is gone on a while.
Off to do my devo and get started on the day! Ya'll have a good one.