Saturday, November 4, 2017

Up Coming Days Will Be Better, Right?



Ok Groovy.  Here we are on Saturday!  Love, love, love my Saturday mornings.  So...sitting here sipping a cup of coffee, not having wanted to be awoken by that leg cramp.  Dogs were sleeping good and were letting me sleep in.  However, the leg cramp was determining that I would get up.  You are so helpless.  All you can do is get up and stretch and try to walk around the room like a saddle worn cowboy that's just jumped off a horse barefoot onto a cactus.  😨

I read up on the internet and it didn't say anything about potassium surprisingly.  But it did say dehydration can cause it or overuse of muscle.  It also talked about hypothyroid issues.  However, it's ONE leg cramp.  Actually several but just in one day I should say.   I will, however, request to get some bananas and may have some potatoes for lunch. lol So I was up at 4:30 like a normal work day.  At least I got 6 hours.  Prefer 7.

Yesterday went well.  Spent much of the day working on some critical things.  And doing some planning on the HR calendar for 2018.  Planning the year despite some uncertainties.  Most of these things are reminders but they need to be set up so that I can get them done.  Lots of monthly, quarterly, and annual things that happen at various times.  The day went by quickly.  I actually was not ready to go home when 5 came.  lol  But I had to stop and get home.

So on the way home, there was a bad wreck.  I'm glad that despite my going in early yesterday, I did not leave early b/c I might have been tangled up in it.  I was worried until I passed it, knowing that George was in front of me somewhere.  I guess I could have called him.  But anyway, we both got home fine -but just took forever.

My mood probably hit rock bottom yesterday on the scale of bad moods.  lol  I guess I realized that I'm in a funk I can't get out of easily.  I'm not sure what it is.  A vitamin deficiency?  Lack of sleep or rest?  A perpetual state of discouragement in a certain sector of my life? Normally life is more exciting and intriguing to me.  But it occurred to me that I'm feeling a bit depressed I think.  I think that several days of being less than happy over something that developed in a certain area of my life started it.  It really sucks to care so much about a part of your life that it bothers you so.  I guess it's a wake up call for me to try not to be so passionate about it.  Perhaps I should focus my energies toward other areas of life.  Sometimes I crack myself up.  Really.  I mean when you are working on things that are important and you say to yourself "I should just decide not to care".  It sounds so.....wrong.  But actually I think that is what needs to happen.  I should CARE  LESS.  So starting today.  I'm CARING LESS.  As wrong as that sounds, it is the right thing to do so I can move on.  Still moving on and caring less, although not solving the issue - I'll at least be less moved by it.  Que Sera Sera.

I am moving on.  I can feel it this morning.  And that is a good thing.  But yesterday was a downer day for me.  I did have one person compliment me and that made my day.  Someone left a message for me and said that I have such an angelic voice.  It's sad but that was the one thing that I held onto yesterday thinking "At least I'm good for something.  I have an angelic voice."  The person probably had no idea that was the one thing that made my day.

So I was looking forward to being home last night and got home and George had gotten home before me.  My mood was altering from sad, depressed, feelings of lack of self worth, to "yay, weekend, new agenda, let's get started".  So I was happy to reboot laundry and then discovered that Maisy had an accident.  And so I began cleaning that up and went to get the Spot Bot and it was out of cleaner and the old water needed to be poured out.  I hate it when that happens.  But I thought, "George will be so proud b/c I'm not going to wait for him to do it."  So I emptied the old tank and put water and cleaning formula in the other tank.  George came in and yanked it out of my hands and said "what are you doing, you are putting too much formula in there."  (We are talking a few inches of difference here than what he would have done.)  What I was doing was putting in an amount that was in between what you do for surface stains and in set-in stains.  We often have both issues so a clear compromise seems appropriate right?  Do a level that is in b/w both.  One calls for more water than the other. It's just a proportion thing.  You have more cleaner for set in stains and less cleaner and more water for the surface stains.  So I thought I'd do in between.  Sounds reasonable right? And the container shows you where to pour and I did just as it shows.  George was very upset with me and grabbed it and did not like what I had done, saying I put in too much formula, that the formula was concentrated.  He did not want to let me explain my reasoning.  He kept trying to cut me off b/c he kept saying I was wrong to do it the way I did it as I was using too much formula.   So when he finally would let me talk, I told him my reasoning.  But I was still WRONG.  He made me feel like I was a child.  I explained this shouldn't be such a big issue that I was just trying to help him out, that I did not know the product was concentrated. I was just following the instructions.  He said that I wasn't.   I also told him that sometimes the carpet cleaner didn't clean it too well and perhaps it NEEDED to be a little stronger.  But NO I was wrong.  He made me feel like my reasoning made no sense and had no credibility whatsoever.  I was just flat WRONG.  He was so patronizing over it that I told him I would never touch the damn thing again.  He has now won total control over it.  I told him I was only trying to help him.  He kept on about it and he accused me of continuing to fuss over it.  I told him he was the one that was upset over it.  He was the one that yanked it out of my hands, and was upset and wouldn't let me talk.  When I finally get a word in edgewise he says I'm upset and it shouldn't be a big deal.  lol lol lol  Don't I get to be heard?  Don't I have a voice?  Trust me.  If you get a voice,  I get a voice.  So....my voice has spoken and I am happy to SAY that I be resigned from the carpet cleaning responsibilities.  ;-)  Never again.  Perhaps we should label the darn thing and call it "GEORGE'S CARPET CLEANER:  Do Not Touch!"  IT. IS. HIS!  He can have it.  I'll put carpet cleaner on his gift list for Christmas and he will never be short any!  Then he won't have to be cheap and try to reserve it.  I mean good grief.  I came home to this yesterday.  Being yelled at for using an inch too much carpet cleaner in the container.  I didn't know it was concentrated.  It's not worth yanking out of someone's hands and making them feel like they ruined the entire house.

Of course you know THAT set the tone for the evening.  I do not like conflict.  I check out at that point.  So I got the ipad and sat in the living room, which is a neat room, with nicer furniture, away from all his piles and played candy crush and read with tears.   I stayed to myself much of the evening with my head down.   I don't need this kind of treatment after the week I've had.  I really don't.  When someone is trying to help you, don't bite the helping hand --- I mean, please.

Anyway, shaking it off and happy to be on my Saturday morning.  We are supposed to go shopping today for Christmas.  I am not in the mood, but I guess we'll go.  For now I'm going for more coffee.  in the k-cup.  Didn't feel like making a whole pot.  I'm the only one up anyway.  Some get to sleep in.  I either have dog duty or a leg cramp.

Upcoming days will be better right?


6 comments:

  1. Saturday mornings are wonderful. But leg cramps are not a good way to start them at all. I do eat a banana every day for just that reason. Hope you have a great day and you get to enjoy all the things that make you happy at home. May this weekend be filled with better days for you !

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  2. I would have been upset too. That was uncalled for. A little extra cleaner couldn't hurt. I hope you have a good weekend. Take some time for yourself. You deserve it.

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  3. OMG. MEN. Do they never grow up ? Always seem to want to be the big I AM ....really Sonya they ain't worth talking/ thinking/ worrying about.....I would have done just as you have...let them stew in their own juice.....NOW. ITS SATURDAY (. Well over here almost going into Sunday). Hope after a nights sleep today can be a real day of rest with some fun included...........when is it your going shopping for your new furniture ? Over here if it's not ordered/bought this weekend they won't deliver before Xmas....xxxxx

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  4. you do know that as much as you think he loves you. that he is abusive, i dont know his college cred and dont need to but I know your smart have a few degrees .. Sonya my ex husband tried to talk and treat me the same way ,, believe me this is abuse

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  5. had to smile just a little at the notion of giving your husband carpet cleaner for christmas. good idea. he clearly overreacted.

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  6. I'm so sorry you had a bad week and what you had to go through trying to help your husband I don't blame you for getting upset I would let him do the cleanup jobs from now on. Lol. I hope you had a better day.

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