Saturday, July 21, 2018

Saturday Morning "State of the Sonster" over Coffee

Good morning!  Yes, often I've been called "The Sonster"..... in case you were wondering.  I guess it goes back to the Saturday Night Live days.

Well, here is what I know.....

Mom sent a message for me to call her.  So I called before I left the house.  She wanted to cancel the birthday party due to the threat of severe weather.  So I cancelled the reservations.

Then George sent a message that his Mom was going into Hospice care and that he could go to dinner now.  So I told him there was no longer a dinner.   So in my head I was thinking that George and I would just eat together since he was free.

Pause blog for reality moment:  Mmmmm...the coffee is good this morning!

So worked all day and then called Mom and wished her happy birthday.  No rain around us anywhere, but oh well.

Got a text from George when I got home that he would be at the hospital again.  I texted "I thought you were free" but no he wasn't.  So that was ok.  That meant I had a night to myself at home to get started on the weekend.  Granny doesn't know anyone, not even her own name, so I did not go to the hospital.  I just came home to eat and be with the doggies.   I had a panini roast beef sandwich with herbed cheese and dijon mustard.  I'd not had a sandwich in a long time.  Whole grain, and meat that was free of hormones and nitrates and such.  I actually ate a few pringles.  Outside my "eat this" zone but I wanted the crunch on my sandwich.

So my flat iron came in.  And I tried to style my hair with it.  Oh my.  I think that is going to take some practice.  I just have used a curling brush for so long.  So I watched some You Tubes on how to style your hair with it.  I guess I need to watch some more.  I need to wait til the spray comes in that you spray to protect your hair.  I will watch some more YouTube videos as well as I'm not sure I have it down yet anyway.

So it appears that Hospice will be able to attend to George's Mom at the Providence place that she is in.  They have to remove the bed - so George and BIL Kevin went over last night to Granny's room and took out the bed so that the hospital bed can be brought in.

So the storms never came and it will be a while before we plan the next try at doing a birthday dinner.  Our weekends are booked for the next three weekends.  It is possible that we can do another Friday night or Sunday.  But honestly I really don't want to make any more plans yet, just so they can be cancelled.  We don't know what is going to happen with George's Mom.  Well we do, we just don't know when. I'll have to find a time when we can all get together.  I have to get with George, get with my sister, get with Mom, call the reservations, check on the reservations - but we'll wait to do all that again til as it is in George's Mom's last days.  We are pretty much booked up for the next few weeks.  Next weekend we have dog trims and our friends are coming over.  The next weekend is George's birthday weekend which he has all planned out, and the next weekend is the Global Celebration event starting up.

Such as is life. I've had to take a little time off the last couple of nights.  My brain is fried from crazy stupid busy days and lots going on at work and home - so while I've had time at home the last two nights - I've just rested my mind for sanity sake.

Did I mention how good the coffee is this morning!

I'm sitting in the sun room and enjoying the coffee and the cool air from the cold front coming through the screens.

So what to do today?  The normal Saturday stuff.

____Clean house

____Change sheets



____Try to cross some things off the Summer Bucket List

____Update the private blog

____Look up some recipes

____Get caught up with the Mind and Body course

It's been a rough time lately on my psyche.  Just things I'm having to work through or decide about - what is acceptable, what is not, what do I really want here and there and so forth.  But I think all in all I just need a mind rest - too many things going on and not enough of me to go around.  And that makes me freeze up all over the place.  When you get too many things going you become paralyzed and have to find a balance.  So I shut down at that point til I get a balance.  No one is happy around me either til I do.  lol

So I get this big to do list going at the beginning of the week to get me focused.  And then life happens and before you know it's Friday, the list is forgotten - maybe 1/4 of it checked off - maybe 1/2.  But all in all probably more checked off having the list than if I didn't have the list.

I'm disappointed in myself for letting life in the past two weeks get me down.  I had been so happy.  Was I so happy that I thought I wasn't ever going to be unhappy or moved again by anyone or anything else?  I guess so. lol  But when things happen that make you sad, mad, disappointed - you can't control your feelings - they just have to happen.  You can control your reactions to a point.  My problem is that it eats me up til it is solved.  I don't know any other way to get past that.  I did give it to God and let Him handle it.  I can rejoice in that and He did handle it.  Pretty quickly.   But the funk has remained as I pull out of the averted crisis.  I've just been sad really - I keep using the word traumatized - that is a strong word but I can't think of another word or phrase except maybe "continued to be bothered by" or "continue to be worried over" that said thing will happen again.  Anyway it's taken a lot out of me- made me unhappy.  And then it's just kinda made the rest of life dull I guess and zapped my fervor over life.  And that spiraled downward on me b/c it just casts a shadow on everything.  I know I have to speak in code on here in the blog and can't really say a lot but I'm saying what I can the best way I know how.

I'm pulling out of the funk though.  I can feel it. I think it has almost led me into a depression of sorts. Not a bad one, but I guess my spirits are just down right now.  I know that the weather is not helping.  But this mornings chill in the air after a cold front is helping me quite a bit.  I'm disappointed over a few things but it's ok.  Never hurts in life to have a reality check.  And that has really what I've been going thru.  I'll be back to my sparky side before long hopefully.

And we never had any storms around these parts anyway - one got close to us this morning while I was asleep but missed us.

And that is all I know on a Saturday morning.  Wonder what the day will bring.


  1. So sorry about George's mom...Not an easy time for you all at all. Life happens for all of us. We can plan but plans do get cancelled. It's not easy. I've learned to be very flexible. We can only make the best of whatever we get. Sending hugs and prayers your way !

  2. Hi Sonya, I'm so sad that you are having another "downer" it's awful when it happens and brings you so low....I have seen such a HUGE change in your outlook these past couple of months, I was thanking God for having pulled you through and now here I am asking him again, but he did it once so I know if I give you over to his care he will help again....I've not been over on your other news I am going there now....Take care love and take care of George as well as I know you will, most men are not good at showing or sharing their feelings very easily. But they are there just the same....keep smiling, the "up" days will be back soon. Xxxx

  3. Tell George we are praying for you all. We just went through 18 months of this and the last 5 of it was really draining on both Ken and Myself. There is nothing you can do but just be there

  4. I hope you feel better. You have been through a lot these past few weeks. I am sorry to hear the news about Georges mom. It is hard. I pray for peace and angels to surround her in her last days. Sometimes music can be a comfort. Just being there holding her hand talking to her will be a comfort. Sometimes reading Psalms can help when we feel like everything is going wrong. I have been there. But this too shall pass. Be kind to yourself and take care.

  5. you have to be flexible because anything can happen. it's a shame you had to cancel your moms birthday celebration due to weather. so sad about georges mom.


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