Thursday, August 30, 2018

The GAP of What Should Be and What IS


What would it be like to just be here?  Away from the world a bit! 
Simpler times. 

Well, yesterday I was almost late for work.  It has been very difficult with school back in session.  The traffic has been horrible this week.  The dogs have not wanted to hurry up and poop in the mornings.  And there has just been a lot going on.  

So yesterday I had to get the very heavy shipment of items into my car so I could take them and return them.  I had asked George to leave the garage door open for me when he left so I could drag the stuff down the end of the sidewalk and lift it in the car.  I couldn't carry it - it was too heavy so I had to drag it and the bag of course tore a hole and laundry detergent went all the way down the side walk - but it was too heavy for me.  Now that I am typing this it occurred to me that George could have also gone ahead and done this part too.  Wouldn't he have known that I would not be able to lift it?  Anyway - I got it done by dragging it and had to find a laundry basket downstairs to put the bag in so the sticky mess would not go into the back of my car.  

So it smelled really fresh going into work.  lol 

I stopped at the gas station as I realized I was on E.  I'm not sure why the gas light won't come on sooner so you have more opportunity to stop b/c I don't notice my gas tank level otherwise.  
Anyway, I got gas and had not given myself extra time to do so as I had forgotten.  And then I wanted my receipt.  No receipt paper.  I like to have my receipt b/c I've heard of people being accused of not paying for their gas before.  Well this particular BP has gotten lazy about refilling the paper.  I thought I would go in and ask for my receipt and remind them about the paper.  I wanted to make a point.  

So I went inside.  There were about 12 people in line.  I went inside and waited b/c I WAS GOING TO GET MY RECEIPT and make a point!  I had just had enough of life I guess.  I was going to make my imprint!  And my purchase would be as well on a receipt! 

So she gave me my receipt and I told her that the receipt thing had been out of paper for a long time and needed to have paper.  

Her response:  "Thank you. Have a nice day!"

Lovely.  I waited for nothing.  It was my mistake.  I thought they would care.  But that is the problem with our world - I feel like I'm the only one that wants to try to improve it.  lol 

Anyway, I did a Facebook live post b/c it really bothered me that I strive for perfection and see the gaps b/w what is and what should be. Did they find that frustrating and how did they handle it?   Did anyone else struggle with that?  Apparently not. I seem to be alone there as well. Much like the BP response.  Only one or two seemed to really care.  All they cared about was I was on the phone while driving.  I was on a hands free app on my dash.  Legal.  Don't people talk to other passengers in the car?  

Sometimes you just feel alone in the world.  Like no one really understands you - or really cares.  And the ones that do seem to just want to tell you what to do or what not to do.  Story of my life.  

So I post my weight loss on Facebook and have people worrying about me being anorexic.  Really?  I'm still in XL sizes people!!!!! lol lol lol  I'm no where NEAR anorexia!  Good GOSH!  So what is behind that?  Do people just not know how to be happy for someone that is trying to take care of themselves?

Matter of fact I am so far better nourished with nutrition than anyone on that facebook page that commented!  Our food does not have the nutrition in it anymore.  Even our vegetables and fruits.  
So for example, you would have to eat 8 oranges to get the same levels of nutrients that our grandparents got from an orange.  Go dig into the research. 

Anyway, I finally got to work and barely on time.  "On Time" is relative as to who you talk to.  "On Time" to some would be the moment you roll out of bed at 4 a.m. (exaggerating of course).  But point made.

The day was pretty quick.  I had a lot going on with wrapping up one crises and handling an another one.  

And then I returned the leaky sack of products to Target.   Eye brows were raised.   They peered into the buggy to see the leaky sack and all it's contents with Linen Fresh dog and cat food inside.  
They were very nice about it and returned it and dealt with it.  I had to have them empty it though so I could keep my laundry basket underneath.  I had to go put the leaky thing back in the car.  And then shop.  Of course, since I'm not usually in the store much, I was mesmerized and had to look at everything.  I bought a purse.  But I had asked for a $5 card for my efforts to bring it in and cover the gas to do so.  So they did.  And I put that towards the purse and it made it only $25.  It's very nice.  

Then I had to shop around and get the items that needed replacing.  I didn't get home until about 7:30 and George had a Turkey dinner prepared.  We had turkey, stuffing, pinto beans, and cranberry. 

Last night I got my invitations out on FB for MY sip and snack here at the house on Sept 9th.  

This morning, I did the dishes.  And it's time for another work day.  Still undecided about tomorrow.  I have to get a lot done today if I'm going to take off tomorrow.  It would be really cool though.  I need to get my fall decor out and get the house ready for the upcoming event and set in a fall tone.  

Hope all is well with everyone.  I'm hanging in there.  Just feeling frustrated that I have such little time to do anything in life - especially to what I want to do.  Everything seems to have this big GAP b/w what is supposed to be and what IS. And that makes every thing else frustrate me.  I'm having a hard time dealing with that.  The Mind and Body thing helps.  But it is helping me to at least realize WHY I'm struggling.  Because at least now I SEE the gap.  lol  Before I was just frustrated and didn't know why.  Now I am learning WHY. 

But I'm trying to be grateful.  It's just hard sometimes.  

I am grateful for the new purse.  Grateful that I feel better.  And grateful for this 2nd cup of coffee I'm about to have.  

So now off to get dogs to poop and fight for my piece of pavement to get to work in twice the time. 


  1. Keep on counting those blessings. The little things in life are often the big things. I've learned to leave behind the should haves and could haves they tend to bring me down. Hope you do have a great day and can take off tomorrow! It would be so good for you to have a 4 day weekend with Monday being a holiday anyway. Don't hurry and don't worry. Keep safe in that traffic.

  2. Oh dear Sonya, I love your new hair ...I'm glad you are taking tomorrow off...and I hope that you will make it into a real and you will rest, read a book, do whatever makes you happy. Take the wee ones out for a walk in that lovely area behind your house....I must look up your house on maps. My friend from California showed me how and I was able to ...see...where we are going on holiday next year...I know we are not going till April and it seems a longtime but at least it's nice to have seen the area around where she lives...
    Take care and take that great day all to yourself....God Bless. Bxxxx

  3. glad you were able to take back your target order despite how problematic it was. wonder what is up with the dogs taking so long.


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