Monday, September 3, 2018

Being More Positive, Letting Go of Negative -- Getting ME Back!



Yesterday's To Do List: 



Well out of the things I said I wanted to do yesterday, I blogged, both public and private.  I Finished my mind and body program.  Took a few snippets below from that. I updated my autoship.  I added some things and took away a thing I decided to wait on.  I started a new Target order.

  I did an Amazon order.  I ordered a container for the kitchen for utensils on the counter.  I've been using a silver one and I end up having to polish it twice a year.  I'm not wanting that look any more so I've ordered one that looks like concrete.  Maybe it is concrete.  I'll take a pic when it arrives.  I ordered lime essential oil.  We use it more than any I think and I miss it.  Our line doesn't have lime (yet).  

I vacuumed and then set up the Isagenix table for next Sunday.  

George and I sat down and decided on the budget for Christmas.  As we realize we are getting older, his Mom is gone, my Mom has just about everything she needs/wants, and the nieces and nephews we never see and don't know what they like anymore, and the family is spread out and no one close to us really - so the Christmas thing and the shopping just gets smaller every year. Everyone in extended family doing gift cards mainly or money.  I guess it's good - less shopping to do, more gift cards, and less to spend.  We are getting a fridge for each other.  I'd like an iPhone watch.  And it's my birthday around that time too.  If I don't buy it before then.  lol

We also worked on our Fall/Christmas bucket list (on paper) and where all we would go shopping as we WILL be shopping for Cody and Katy.  They love doing the Christmas thing and having gifts to open and having us do the same, so we will provide that for them.   

We also set up some Christmas excursions.  Well where, not when for the Christmas shopping that we WILL do.  

As I finished up my Mind and Body Program yesterday I snapped a few thoughts:




I also started with an Audible account yesterday.  I decided it would be worth it for the reading materials.  I get a book a month credit it said.  And I got a book free to start. It's $15.99 per month but it'll be good entertainment for me during these increasingly long commutes and I'll be able to get through more books this way.  Some I can count off as a write off with the MLM business. ;-)




 I bought Boundaries for Leaders.  I need to read it.  And I may read his other books as well for relationships.  I have the persona that I allow others to really impact me.  It's because I try hard to please.  But I've discovered you try to please and the bar keeps getting pushed higher and it becomes more and more and the targets keep moving and there is only so many hours in a day and you get exasperated.  So perhaps this book can help me learn where to draw the lines.  

So I spent some time setting up for my "Last Summer's HooRah Sip and Sample".  I set up to see if I had everything.  I almost did!  I've been saving my empty containers.  Some things here are NOT empty though.  Lisa is bringing the rest.  


So I may do part of the presentation and then let her do the rest.  But I wanted to get this started so I'm not rushed next weekend. 

I did spend time private blogging about the things that frustrate me in each day.  I needed to kinda go through an exercise with myself.  I need to purge a bit.  I think the purging alone helps.  I can purge here a lot which is really and truly why I blog.  But the private blog helps me really get it out there.  The real meat comes out as to what is bothering me.  If I wrote all that here all kinds of judgments would be passed.  No use tempting people to try to become a God over me that they are not.  

I realize that the negativity and constant irritations are really what sends me into frustration.  The continual hiring for example, continual turnover, continual this, continual that.  Continual people not doing what they should, not caring, ignoring you and so forth, lack of appreciation, not following thru- it's those types of things every day you deal with that just gnaw at the ever living linings of being within me.  I try to so hard and just things still don't go well.  Seeing things of this nature just grates on my efforts and impacts me greatly.  By week's end I'm just over the negatives.  I struggle with that as a being that likes their world to work right.  So in this exercise I saw a lot of that.  There were some deep things in some personal relationships that bothered me as well, where I feel I have done my part and the other person has not done theirs.  And I don't have the answers I need to resolve any of it.  I just live with what IS and try to forgive while not understanding what is going on.    I mean what can you do.  

So in resolve what solutions did I come up with?  

1.  Read the Bible, do Bible Studies and Pray.  God will take care of me and perhaps the rest.  
I have prayed people negative people "away" before, and there is always THAT, lol.   

2.  Work for God, not for man.  That is a game changer.  But I have been doing that for a while.  That is the ONLY way a person can be sane in today's working world.  It's a zoo out there.   And I am a woman in a man's world even today.  People think that has changed.  I could show you throughout my career it has not.  I'm not one of those women that complain about it.  The men don't like that very much, you see.  And we wouldn't want to offend anyone so I don't talk about it.  But it's been there in my career.

3. Try not to say anything negative.  My problem is I struggle b/w holding it in and talking about it.  Some say talk about it.  Others say don't.  So this one is confusing.  But I will try to put good thoughts into my head immediately.  And begin playing a Don't worry, be happy track in my head.  

4.  Replace the negative thought with something good from the situation.  It only takes 14 days to build a habit.  So I will try to put on my gratitude attitude and take it from there.  I mean thank God for God and Isagenix to give me some kind of hope and tools to work with.  

I do think the world is more evil.  The devil has many soldiers now - much more as the population grows.  This does not help anything.  It only makes the world a harder place to live. 

5.  Focus on the "have to do" for the day and if I get to the "nice to do" I'll be doing good.  

6.  Try to have Joy in the Journey and Contentment.  I think I don't have contentment b/c my mind sees a state of existence that I've not reached yet.  So I keep trying to get there. Bottom line?  I see myself already retired and RV'ing and seeing things and learning things and sharing things.  And I'm not there yet, so I'm frustrated.  lol  I need to just enjoy the journey.  So many negative things happen that it's hard to enjoy the day so I have to try to look past that somehow.  I think ANY job is going to be that way, any relationship will be that way.  It's just not a perfect world.  So do we stop trying to make it one?  Maybe.  If you are knocking yourself out trying.  Maybe just help the people that want help?  One person at a time?  Let the rest go and be train wrecks?  I'm not sure what the answer is.  I've always said when you cared is when you started having trouble.  Those that don't care seem to have the best ole time.  Maybe that is the answer.  My best answer is to hang it up and leave it in a bag on the shelf when I go to bed at night.  I may or may not go in and pick it up again the next day when I wake up.  But for health and sanity sake, I will have to let it go and throw the bag away eventually.  I think my answer is to care but not care so much.  Remove myself from it.  I hate saying "not care" that is not the phrase I'm looking for but lack of another English word to replace it with.  When you "care" it starts hurting.  When you don't, life is better.  Of course I care.  I have to care about everything I do but maybe you just remove your feelings from being able to do anything about what is not in your control.  I need to read Tolle, don't I?  I just don't want to have a bunch of Buddist views of life.  Isn't that kinda how he writes?  I'm afraid to read it.  I could be wrong.

7.  Try to schedule in some fun for myself so life doesn't seem so heavy.  And to laugh more.  Smile more.  I can't help that my personality has been a serious one.  It's b/c I've always set goals to reach them and life and it's disturbances have always been so discouraging.  All the nagging little things that add up annoy me so and waste time:  ugh the gas is on E and have to stop, ugh the laundry detergent busted all over the Target delivery which is what I chose to save time so I didn't have to go to the store.  Ugh, the traffic is horrible today and xyz in the black mustang back there wants to run me over, and abc over there in the toyota camry nearly ran me over b/c she is texting and putting on makeup too.  These things wear me down on a good day!  You try to  be in a good mood and it gets so annoying bam, bam, bam all day long these little things.  I'm worn out by day's end just trying to protect myself.  lol  How do smile through all that.  Hello dear, go ahead and run me over? Oh yay, I get to be late for work b/c I forgot about needing gas?   Oh goody - the Target box came and it smells so good, maybe the dogs will love their April Fresh dog food!  How does one get glad w/o having to order trash bags?  lol lol I'm still working on this one.  This may be the hardest of all.  Is there a special word I should say when these things happen?  Not a curse word like everyone else does but what?  How 'bout "mmm mmm life is good today" or something like that "mmm mmm no worries but the tide gonna reach my chair?"  What do you suggest? 

8.  Not have such big expectations.  Just realize the world is full of "frog ups" (insert favorite f-word here).  Mine is frog.  As of today, this world is frogged up.  Or fogged up.  I like that one too.  lol

9.  Not plan so much.  I'm not sure how successful this will be. 

10.  I'm just writing here b/c I wanted 10 and I can't think of another one.  lol  So maybe not push myself so hard.  Relax more in all walks of life.  Refused to be moved?  That sounds so callous but perhaps one needs to be if they let their world impact them so.  I hate being a sensitive sort.  But I am and therefore today's entry.  You should have seen the private blog, buahahhahaha and bless your heart if you did.  

So I will start trying to be brighter and create a better world for myself in how I view it and how I allow it to impact me.  I will care less (not really but for lack of better word to describe it) so that I will be less moved by it.  Read and Pray, Work for God, not be negative, replace with a positive comment, if I need to say something negative I'm gonna say "frog".  Try to look for and have more joy and contentment (fruits of the spirit), schedule some fun, not plan too much, don't expand my expectations (although my own vision is expanded and I won't take anything less.)  Not push myself so hard and relax more.  Life is short. And then it's gone.

So more than anything the last few days and having a long weekend has just been critical for me.  I feel a new person.  Being away from work has let me see that work has a lot to do with my moods.  You don't see it until you are away from it.  So that was key.  I think all jobs are most likely that way if you try and care.  But I have been glad to have my life back for the last few days.  And I realize that I'm not giving my life back now - even though I do go back.  It's my life and no one can have it.  They get the hours and the work of course - that's the deal - but they do NOT get my life, my moods, my being.  It's mine now.  Boundaries.  And no one else in my life gets my life either.  Well maybe my spouse b/c of God's intertwinement in the way that works with marriage - maybe.  There's a few questions to that.  Truth be said.  But yeah, I got my life back this weekend! And I'm keeping it!  ;-) 

And on a funny note. I fed the dogs yesterday and an hour later, so did George.  They got TWO dinners and then the Food COMAs set in.  



Maisy was still in the kitchen looking for even more food and not pictured.  However, her Coma hit while we were watching Arsenic and Lace.  

While we were watching Arsenic and Lace - we heard a noise that sounded like boxes falling or someone knocking something over in the basement.  Scared us both a bit.  George went and got the gun and went downstairs and couldn't find anything.  We think it may have been fireworks in the neighborhood that just sounded like boxes falling.  

I fixed spaghetti for us for dinner.  Loved the Spinach Spaghetti and it was a whole lb too and not this 12 ounce of a frog deal where they want you pay the same money for few less ounces!  ;-)




MMMMM it was good.  And I have a few lunches as well. 
So here's today's list if you have made it this far: 
___Egg and bacon breakfast
___Laundry (just a bit)
___Kitchen clean up 
___Messages to individuals about next Sunday 
___Bucket List for Fall - December 

___Plan my week
___Mop kitchen floor
___Dust the living room

___Read 
____Watch "Keep Your Day Dream"
Tomorrow I'll show the old bucket list and the new one!  
Loving our day off today.  And I think George is going to cook breakfast!  Woot!  


And after reading through this entry it occurred to me that perhaps I should write a book about overcoming frustrations.  lol  We'll measure my success first!  ;-)

6 comments:

  1. One of my favorite quotes is: Life is what you make it and always has been. It's our choice as to what we do and how we want to feel. Keeping positive is not always easy but Is the best way to live. It's a habit and one we can all develop. The way I look at is that life is too short to be anything but happy! Hope your labor day is a great one ! Back to work tomorrow.

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  2. You are way too hard on yourself. I understand having high expectations but when things don't go the way you think they should, you need to let them go. Don't beat yourself up over situations you really have no control over. Life is
    way too short. You need to "let it go".
    I say this with the best intentions. I use to be a lot like you in this respect.
    I'm much happier now. 😊
    Enjoy your holiday,
    Monica

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  3. I have been there done that. I read a quote which I cannot put exactly as stated, but the jest is. Depression comes from dwelling on the past, anxiety comes from worrying about the future, contentment comes from living in the day and enjoying all you have. Of course, this is totally impossible, but I have found it gives me contentment when I really do make an effort to live in the moment and enjoy.

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  4. I've never completely stopped reading your blog, but I just couldn't get around to blogs like I used to once I began babysitting. I'm anxious to catch back up with everybody now. I'm now in the process of getting myself back to blogging more than once a week. I'd like to at least average a blog entry every other day. I just have to be alert and present in the moment enough to realize what is blog-worthy and, perhaps, make note of it.

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  5. just keep daydreaming about rv'ing and retirement and it'll be here sooner than you think. funny about feeding the dogs twice.

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  6. My that was a long blog for a weekday....but then I remembered it was your Labor Day and therefore a bank holiday ...I'm glad you have had such a productive weekend, you have certainly been able to get a lot of your load...unloaded ! That is sure to make you feel better. I have said it before and no doubt will say again contentment is the only way to go....gain that contentment and everything else sorts itself out.....so onwards and upwards dear friend.......God Bless. Xxxx

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