Saturday, February 16, 2019

Drilling Down on Frustrations, Finding the Root Cause, Fixing it


Good morning!  I've taken some time this morning to put my head around how to ease the frustrations I'm experiencing on a daily basis the last few weeks.   The main frustrations being:

*Dealing with the dogs and their schedules and their issues
*Not being able to finish anything I start for having to move to the next thing
*Having to work on others agendas instead of getting to work on my own
*Time - not enough and really it all boils down to time doesn't it?
*Computer or electronic issues
*Ghosting - it happens everywhere
*Incorrect perspectives/perceptions
*Having to rush
*Not enough self time
*Things not having a place and not in its place

In order to fix why you feel frustrated, it's important to make a list and figure out why.  You can keep asking why at each one til you drill down to the root cause.

For example, why am I frustrated with the dogs and their issues?  I love them so why?  It takes time and it's keeping me from doing what I want to be doing in those precious few minutes. 

Why am I not able to finish anything I start?  Time.

Why am I frustrated about having to help others with their agendas?  It takes away time and leaves me not getting my to do list done and my goals unfinished leaving me to feel like I've failed somehow.

Why do I not have enough time?  I have too much planned - AHAAA!

Why do computer and electronic issues bother me?  I can't get done what I want.  And I often don't know how to fix it.  Which means research.  Why do not I not like to research?  It takes TIME!

Ghosting?  Why don't I like ghosting?  You need answers and you have to go find answers somewhere else. And that takes time.  Or it makes you feel like you are unimportant and belittled and betrayed. 

Why do I not like incorrect perspectives?  B/c it bothers me thinking that someone is thinking the wrong things about me.  Why?  Because you are fearful of the outcome?  Why are fearful of the outcome?  It might hurt me in some way.  How could it hurt you in some way?  I could be chastised erroneously, or not given an increase based on someone's wrong perception, or fired b/c they thought I knew expectations and I didn't, or a friend would be mad at me and I would never know it.  And if that happened what would you do?  I would explain the truth, if given the opportunity, if not I would go on. I would find other work or another friend.  And then what?  I would not be physically harmed and God is in control, so.....who gives a frequent flyer?

Why do I not like to rush?  I like to finish what I started? Why?  Because it makes me feel accomplished! Why?  Because a goal has been reached and that feels good.  Why do I want to reach a goal?  That depends on what the project is. I'd go in circles on this one but ultimately it will lead to what are your goals in life and what is really important to you.

And in true fashion, I cannot finish this blog entry b/c it's time to take the dogs for their trim soon which means I need to get a shower.

Be back later....

And it's 4:24 and I have exactly 36 minutes to finish this blog post before I go and start on dinner which I've promised I would do tonight. 

So here is how I will try to solve my obvious TIME problem.

1.  I'll get up at 4 instead of 4:30. 
2.  I'll not blog every day but perhaps every other day.  Or if I do blog it will need to just hit the high points and run.  Can I even do that? lol
3.  I'm going to make Maisy get up when I get up and take two dogs at once.  I'm done with having to go out 3 times in a morning.  Two will have to do.  They all go out again before we leave.
4.  I'll start putting the cat's food in a bowl at the end of the porch where Tugie won't be trying to eat her way to the yard and back.
5.  Some things I can't control - like computer issues and ghosting and other people's thoughts and incorrect perceptions.  So I just have to remember my training:  Let it go, let the thought pass, don't let it hold you captive, don't let the negative thoughts control you, don't let them control you, and most of all just bless, release, and move on. While it's not my style to ghost people - I may find that I myself may be at least MIA for a while on some level or many levels.  lol
6.  At age 56 I may just flat stop rushing.  I mean I'll make my time commitments to work and committed events, but I believe my days of rushing are about to come to an end. 
7.  I will try to be better organized in the house, with my schedule, with my plans.
8.  I will have to plan some free time in the schedule as I think that is adding to my frustration level in a big way. I need some additional quiet time and some God time.  The schedule is hard when I'm trying to do what I'm trying to do. 
9.  Keep downsizing and getting rid of things I no longer need or want or don't use.
10.  Take some extra Ionix in the afternoon if needed.
11.  More exercise time which helps with stress.
12.  Do my JOY and CONTENT lessons.
13.  Focus on others to get my mind off of my frustrations.
14.  Listen to good music.
15.  Have gratitude.
16.  Remembering it should be "JOY in the Journey" - a mindset thing.
17.  Remembering I "get" to do things instead of "have to".
18.  Use my essential oils more to get rid of stress.

So I'm ready to be done with this frustration business.  I quickly see that it's really all about time and not getting time to do what I want/need to do for my goals and my persona.  I will tweek and make it better.  Going through this blogging exercise has helped me to see what is truly going on with me though.  Now I just have to try to fix it.  This has always been a frustration for me b/c I always want to have it all, do it all, be it all and be good at it all. 

I will succeed.  And it's been a frustrating day also for a Saturday.  But I'll save that for tomorrow's blog. 


4 comments:

  1. Take 3 days for you. Do nothing on your plans. Relax, do things on the spur of the moment. Get up get out, make no plans just let it happen. This will relieve you of a lot of stress and anxiety. It's your mini vacation with no plans, Maybe go pick up your Mom as a surprise and take her to lunch then go back home. Go to a park on a lovely sping day, sit on a bench and reflect on all the lovely nature sounds around you. I guarantee you will realize you have not been hearing them as you rush through your life.

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  2. You seriously need some down time. I think you are too hard on yourself and expect too much of yourself.
    You are only one person. All work and no play is not healthy.
    I wish you well:)
    Monica

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  3. sounds like you worked through your frustration and now have a plan of attack. good for you. hopefully less stressful days are ahead.

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  4. It's good to write it all down and figure it out. We have to be honest with ourselves if we want to do what's best. I've always thought that it best to do the best you can with what you have. We all are so different, yet we all have the same amount of time. And what we do with it is up to us. Hope your weekend brings only the best. Do what you can and leave the rest to God.
    Love and Hugs,
    'ma'

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