Tuesday, February 12, 2019
That Which Does not Kill Me Makes Me Grumpier
Well, you know I'm not one to mince words. But basically Monday sucked! It's getting ridiculous. You have a serving heart and come out wrangled and torn and tattered at end of the day, because there is not enough of you to go around. Usually I let it roll off but yesterday it was getting to me. The needs are great and many and there is just not enough of us to go around. Then right when you need it microsoft crashes and you have to reboot. My eyes have rolled so far back into my head so many times yesterday it's a wonder they didn't stick into a permanent roll back.
When you are in a sea and wave after wave after wave after wave after wave after wave after wave hits you - it's hard to smile through that. And that is the situation that leaves you scratching your head Why? How long am I going to be able to withstand these waves or will the waves die down? Do you keep fighting or just give up and drown?
All I know is something has to change. And soon. I'm just not going to be able to keep doing it like this. That I know. We are going to have to have some help or something else will have to change.
I'd love to say I'm in a good mood. I'm not angry - but I do have a feeling akin to "feeling sorry" for work. I'm lol'ing here at that thought but that is what it feels like. I just feel sorry for it, sad for it. lolI know that you can't ignore your feelings. You have to acknowledge them and then let them move on. And just bless and release as they say.
I will just pray about it. I'm not sure why I didn't think of that before. But after yesterday, I'm just discouraged today. And tired. I hope I'm not too cranky to be around. But after yesterday, I will just say it didn't inspire me - that's for sure.
I guess it's time to listen to some more podcasts on Boundaries, Self-Care and that type of thing.
So here's to hoping for a good Tuesday. I think the best thing I can do today is just focus and be quiet. Because I'm afraid if I speak, my feelings will come out. Right now I'm pretty frustrated. And nothing I have to say will be fruitful.