Tuesday, May 14, 2019

A Bit of Disappointment, Refocusing, Re-shifting, and Pressing On

Well, everything had been going so well until about six weeks ago.  Going through open enrollment on top of the already stressed out days, plus everything else in life I'm trying to do and keep up with and coordinate and accomplish. 

My blood pressure was way high at the doc.  I had been going in all the right directions. I began thinking that my program was no longer working for me and then I contemplated on what all the last six weeks have been like.  So when the stress started to go up and I began spinning my wheels trying to accomplish what I normally would accomplish but with a heavier work load, I began taking on some bad habits. 

1.  I have been splurging more often instead of less often
2.  I've backed off of trying to exercise using that time for the "to do list" or working through lunches to gain an inch more into getting something/anything done.
3.  It doesn't matter if everything is done right on my program - if there is stress, it will restrict your blood flow/blood vessels. I should have recognized that I needed my stress formula twice a day instead of once.
4.  I've had a lot of salt lately - and way too much popcorn in one sitting.
5.  I often go back for seconds at night hampering further weight loss
6.  Sleep has not been as good.
7.  I've opted for another glass of wine, trying to make myself relax.
8.  Not enough greens and not enough veggies

I probably could go on and on and on.  I knew I didn't feel good the last few weeks.  I knew that over the last few days I've started to have even more problems brewing. 

So it was either fortunate or unfortunate, that I had to go to the doc yesterday for a refill on my BP meds.  My BP had been doing so good.  But it was high - way too high and so he had to put me on different meds and I'll start those today.  It's in the same family but he said it was better and just a little stronger.  Both he and the pharmacy lady said I'd probably not notice anything different, but maybe just a little dizziness at first. 

I left the doc office feeling even more depressed.  Feeling like my system was letting me down, work was letting me down, and life was letting me down. 

Then I remembered the doc saying that it wouldn't have mattered if I'd eaten perfectly, if the stress was high, you'd have the high blood pressure.  So I quit being disappointed in my system immediately.  I realize I let the stress impact me by either doing/not doing those things above. 

So I will work harder at:

1.  Not splurging as often
2.  Taking my lunch breaks and trying to walk
3.  Not eating the popcorn - and if I do not with so much salt. 
4.  Take an extra Ionix if needed (Stress formula).
5.  Cut back on the 2nds
6.  Sleep is what it's going to be I can't perfect it anymore than I already do.
7.  Switching to bubble water and can have a glass of red here and there
8.  Eating more veggies and greens

I have to go back for a physical in July. 

And he gave me an antibiotic for my finger which he said looked like an infection of some sort.   So I've decided with new blood pressure meds and an antibiotic - it's not a good time to do a cleanse today.  I started to wait until Wed to start everything but I knew I needed to get the new BP meds in so they can do their thing. 

So I guess God's giving me a new focus this morning - focusing on me.  Not really what I was intending but it is the way it is. 

I do not feel very good this morning having taken the antibiotic on an empty stomach as it requested to be taken an hour before I eat.  Fifty minutes in I ate a banana b/c of the nausea - it was the type that you need to eat or you'll be sick, shaky and so forth.  Still nauseated and not really wanting coffee now.

So, I'm disappointed that I have to go up in blood pressure meds when I was trying to get off the meds completely.  This is a huge disappointment and a dip for me. 

I guess I'm disappointed in a lot of things really which I won't go into here. 

But, you know me.  I'll just follow God's lead and we'll figure it out together.  We'll figure out what the next step is.  So I'm on my journey yet again to find:

Health, happiness, peace, contentment, joy, love, and whatever journey He sends me on. 

I've tried to find ways to knock out or knock off the stress and in stressful times when you need a break is when usually everything and everyone is coming at you the hardest it seems.   But God only allows coming at me what he will allow. 

That said, I need to wrap this up.  I'm ok.  I'll keep pressing on, but perhaps with a different outlook and probably a bit less zest b/c I'm going to be focusing on me for a while.  Everything else will just have to wait it's turn.  ;-)

And that is all she wrote today!


  1. It will be good to get your blood pressure down. I love fruits and vegetables but struggle at times to eat enough too. Hope you have a good day!

  2. just hang in there. all you can do.


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