Friday, July 19, 2019

Blog Comments Not Working Too Well and Didn't Mean to Blog Today But Did

Everyone seems to have issues commenting on blogger.  At least Word Press seems to be making changes and keeping up with the times.  Haven't had time to work on the new blog.  Will try to get it rolling this weekend but looking like it may be the following weekend.  It's quite a bit more to set up and a little more complicated than blogger.  Or perhaps I'm just used to blogger. 

So I'm sorry you all are having trouble commenting.  I think it will be better on the other site.  I'm going to be looking forward to some down time. 

I have some exciting news but not sure I can tell it yet.  I am waiting for announcements.  lol  Nothing ever happens in proper time does it?

Anyway, things are going to be rough for a while until they get better.  That is all I will say.  Still there is only ONE of me so I'd say it'll probably be rougher on everyone else than it will be on me.  Since no one likes to wait for anything and no one has patience.

There is no RV and no grandchildren yet, so don't get too excited.  More later as the news officially comes. 

I am so excited also to work on the new blog.  Katy is here with us with Shelby her friend.  And Little Bitty Kitty had disappeared for two days and is back!  We are happy about that this morning.  I asked God to bring her back.  I'd feared she was gone for good - and probably eaten by something in the woods or run over. I'm happy Katy will get to see her. 

So just popping in for a moment.  And I best be going!  I really didn't mean to blog here today.

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Thank you! Stay Tuned! Save any Side Blogs Links You Use!

Your comments on previous entry really made me feel good and I appreciate them so much so I had to come and tell you that.  I know I said I'd not be back til Saturday but how can I not come on and tell you thank you from all of my heart. 

I do have good news.  Getting up - even the first morning - I knew that I would miss having a blog.  So I am working on a new one through WordPress.  I've actually paid for a premium plan since it's my main life's hobby, I gave myself that permission and luxury and paid for it with my other "hobby" Isagenix.  That is supposed to be RV money, but what the hay!  lol  I'm having fun working on it although I've not had much time to do so.  Once I get the theme set, my widgets going, and everything perfect for you all - I'll come back and give you the link.  It will be a new title, based on this new phase of my life. 

My life is just going through some changes right now. I won't post about it until everything is resolved.  I can tell you that something will change but not exactly sure how or in what way.  I have been just in shambles the last couple of days trying to make some decisions and stepping out on a ledge to make some changes.  Since I've been in prayer for a while - God has it in control.  But in the process the devil is trying to throw his usual darts and trying to make things complicated.  I woke up at 3 this morning to pray a bit, cry a bit, and just finally give it over to God to just 'fix it'.  I've even tangled with him why he allows the devil to taunt and torture me so.  Then I apologized.  I do question why things can't just be simple?  It seemed simple at the time.  But I guess standing on a ledge is never simple, lol.

I know the body and the mind go toward their goals.  And that is what I am trying to do and I hope that my leaps of faith are worth it in the end.  All I can do at this point is LET GOD.  I keep trying to put boundaries up in my head about what pieces of change are acceptable to me and what is not.  Oh I definitely have an opinion and that is what scares me.  If I'm not happy with something, no one is going to be happy.  That is fact and something I really cannot control so well.  We migrate toward what we want.  And if I do that, I don't want what I am migrating from to follow me there.  lol

Anyway, it's hard to concentrate on anything else right now.  Plus Katy is coming tomorrow and I'll pick her up at the airport tomorrow afternoon.  She is bringing a friend (teacher friend) for a long weekend.  I'm so excited. 

Yesterday I tried to do a cleanse day but just needed comfort food and a good conversation with my Hubby so we went for a burger and a beer.  Screw cleanse day.  lol Just too much to deal with right now.  I posted in my group about my failure and one of my friends said - not to worry that he was eating a meatball sandwich - lol.  So back in the game today healthwise.  You know me and my "burgahs" and it's been a few months I think - since I've had one.  I might have had one in San Antonio though I can't remember.  I don't think I did.  I'll never give them up completely but I'm ok with only having one on a blue moon, lol.

Anyway, I will continue to blog and I'll come back and let you know the location.  I don't want to say til it's up and ready for you.  It's actually live now there is just nothing on it.  Word Press is quite different.  But I think I'm going to enjoy it.  I'm actually going to create a logo for it.  ;-)   I am also going to create a little charter for myself as to what I will allow myself to post and what I won't post.  I want to think about that some and allow that to be my filter.  I really have to work with myself on a few things because I am so open and honest - and I have to draw boundaries with myself.  lol

So I did want to tell you that I'm not sure how the blog follower thing works on Word Press - I'm not sure I'll be able to take all the links on the side bar with me.  So I know a lot of you read other blogs from my side bar, so be sure to save those on your browser. 

At some point, I will be shutting off this blog.  I will likely be making it private and the domain name will be a blogger blog instead of being a standalone on another domain.  I'm not going to continue to pay for the domain site via google since I'm paying for WordPress's domain now. 

I'm happy so far to be working with a different domain, different theme options and a different medium.  I can still make pics with PSP but won't be stuck in a pattern. I can tell you once I pick a theme though I will want to stay with it for a while b/c just like blogger, if you go changing a theme you lose all your widgets and have to start over.  So I am trying to make sure I pick a theme I really like.  Strange enough I kept migrating toward the ones that looked like blogger's.  lol  I think it's only because that is what the mind "knows" has been seeing.  So I have been trying to get a different feel.  I still kinda want my widgets to the side though and not the bottom so we'll see. 

But I will come back and let you know when it's ready.  Since I saw your wonderful heartfelt comments yesterday on the previous post, and I had already paid for my WordPress blog I thought I'd at least let you know I'm working on it.  This time I am going to announce it to the world and let it be found.  I will also incorporate some "Vlogging" into it.  Here and there.  This will be a new and fun adventure for me.   And a next step toward some other real goals to have one day. God is good.  He leads me and has heard my need for change and I woke up one day and started moving to change everything.  Well not everything.  I'll keep George I guess.  lol

So stay tuned. 

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Decision Time on the Blog ~ I'll be Away for a Few Days

I have decided that for right now, I'm not going to blog for a while.  Maybe even a good while. The minimum amount of time I will be away is 5 days and the maximum time is two weeks. At that time  I'll post my decision on whether I will continue or close the blog.  I need to see how I feel at least over a week to two week period and make sure I'm not making a wrong decision on a whim.  Why?

1)  The blog is not serving me in purpose as it has before.
2)  There are so many other things I'm finding that I should be doing with that time.
3)  Often the wrong people are reading and it makes me feel vulnerable that I can't be me or that people are on a witch hunt to see if there is a hint of anything that I'm saying or doing wrong.
4)  I'm just wanting to be more private in my thoughts.  If no one knows what they are I can't be judged on them.
5)  I've been two days without comments now.  So maybe someone is reading but it feels weird to me when no one comments at all.  I've thought about reaching out and publicizing the blog but all the wrong people will flock to it like gnats on mayonnaise.
6) I feel like God is helping me make this decision.  It's only a trial decision to see how I feel.  I've been doing this blog thing for so very long.  It's very sad, but other chapters are unfolding.
7) I'm not getting the time I need to work on some other projects - and I do have a lot of irons in the fire. I need some time to evaluate again what is important in the time of my life that I have left. 
8)  Most of those who do read the blog know where to find me on Facebook or Instagram.  If not I would welcome you on my Facebook feed and Instagram follow as long as I know who you are from this blog.  Snoksred?  Jan?  And others that comment periodically.  Most of you are already there anyway.
9)  I feel like my blogging and writing experiences are letting me down right now.  And working against me instead of for me.  Maybe they always have been.  But I am not satisfied with it at present. I'm just not feeling it anymore.  Maybe God is changing my heart on it.
10)  Maybe I'm just tired of blogger itself.  Maybe a new medium needs to take hold with a varying purpose. Maybe I'm just at one of those cross roads in my life.
11)  Does it feel sad?  Yeah kinda.  But it's not like I can't come back, or start a new blog somewhere else, or do vlogging instead.  It is exciting in a way to be able to fill that time with other things.  So many other things I want to do, learn, experience, and succeed in, and reach goals toward.
12) I don't feel like I'm serving anyone else any purpose either.  Mostly what this has been is a way to park my feelings and document our life.  I'm not really getting to get into my feelings anymore.  I don't feel safe in doing so anymore.
13) We'll end with a 13 for good luck.  lol. And I'll let that be a question for you.  What purpose over the years have you come to this blog for?

And so we'll see how this goes.  I'll be back soon to let you know.  As early as this Saturday July 20, or as late as Saturday July 27th. One to two weeks ought to give me a chance to be away long enough to think it through.  And see if I miss it.  Or if I am welcoming my new time with other things.  Or if I'm sad, or happy.  Or just how I feel.  As of right now, my mind is made up, but I'm not going to just do that without giving myself a trial period away.  I know myself better than that.  I think my Facebook is attached here, you can befriend me if you'd like.  I'm just thinking that this is probably the beginning of the end of the blog.  I can do mini blog posts on FB as that is where most people are if I have a day I really need to talk or share.  I really like Instagram Stories.  It's fun and not too personal.  But you can share a little.   I just don't feel safe or satisfied here any more.

Thoughts on a Sunday Morning and Excursion in Franklin, TN

Well, the above is about to happen soon.  I was thinking August but I need to check and see.  Can't miss that!  

You can see "Itty Bitty Kitty".  I touched her yesterday to pet her while she ate and she flew off the porch so fast.  George touched her ear.  However, she is more brave.  We will have to work at being able to pet her.  She will be loved so much if she will just let us. 

Max Lucado is coming out with a new book.  I'll get this in audio form if they have it when it comes out.  Marking my calendar for September.  I think it will be a good one to read.  It's a subject matter that I have been working on this year.  As you know...I found my Dad's "Key to Happiness" in his Bible.  And I also wrote out my "Joy Indicator" on a sliding scale - as "Being More Content" was one of my goals this year.  But goals must be measurable so I had to create a scale, lol.  So I am happy to say that most of the time I've been about a 7 "Finding some joy and focusing on happy things, and sharing joy with others".   (To be a 6 would be recognizing some joy but not sharing with others. And an 8 would be Feeling highly satisfied and organized and able to share.)  Remember this was my JOY-a meter and not anyone elses.  Mine is my own relative scale based on (mood, feelings, the way of my persona, etc.).  Yours might be different.   So I'm anxious to hear what he has to say.

I guess I'm kinda going through a mid-life crisis right now.  Just trying to figure out a few things.  My soul is really sceaming out on a few things.  I just need some answers.  I am excited to have a few BHAG's left - Big Hairy Audacious Goals!  Just not sure how to work it all in and the timing.  But since God leads the steps I don't necessarily have to have ALL the answers.  But I do need to sit down and do a mid-year RE-planning session.  To review my 2019 goals and make adjustments or realign.  Something happened this year in my thinking.  The limits I had set for myself opened up and I realized things do not have to be set in a certain way, you can shake them up, you can BE YOU, You ARE ENOUGH, and I'm back to realizing that the world CAN BE an open place for me to do and try some new things for my life.  That is when I took on the thought about the RV'ing.  Of course George is not as radical in his thinking.  The idea of waking up in different places for an extended amount of time and exploring our world just makes me want to hyperventilate with excitement.  We may not have limits for ourselves, but God does set some limits on our marriages, lol.  So if we both don't want to do this - I should probably not do this own my own.  Although I have entertained the thought.  George was none too happy about it.  So I will most likely succumb to his wishes - lol. 
Still - it does give me JOY to realize that we absolutely DO NOT have to stick to the limits our brain and our predecessors have assigned us to.  We CAN do things differently and not be stuck in the same ruts.

We had a little excursion yesterday.  We went to The Bottle Shop in Franklin, Cool Springs area.  We love going there and doing the wine tastings and then we buy a few bottles for our stash at home.  Yesterday they had cava/champagne/rose - 4 pack, plus a spritzer. 

While there I saw this beer. lol  Just liked the name mostly.  "I'm on a Boat" by Monday Night Brewing is just fun to me. Didn't get it.  I'm trying not to have a beer unless it's light.  Really trying to get at my goals.

The Bottle Shop, Franklin, TN

The clouds built up all around us but I don't think it ever rained where we were. 

Then we headed over to Connor's Seafood.   We met our friends there for dinner.  Had a great time!  

 George got some oysters.

The Sangria was just like I like it. 

And I had Prime Rib - oh my gosh it was good.  

So it was all very good.  I like my steak "medium".  It's not rare.  lol 

Anyway, we are off to take some supplies to church this morning for the back to school needs and then to go take Mom out for lunch for her birthday.  

I hope everyone has a lovely day.  

Saturday, July 13, 2019

What Drives Me?

Made this graphic back in the early days of playing around.  Very simple and sweet.  I was just so enthralled to be learning that you could make pictures on the computer.

So yesterday was fun - getting to go to lunch with George.  We went to Mission BBQ.  I took a video and failed to take a regular photo.  But the lunch was good.  I had brisket.  He had the smoked steak.

I had a special project to work on yesterday within some spreadsheets that took about half of a day with the interruptions and all.  Just a lot of things going on - putting out fires.   I'm very behind for working on special projects this week.  Plus all the fires to put out.  So hopefully can make some headway next week.  Gonna have to soon.

We are taking the dogs for their rabies shots today so we can take them to their new groomer at the appointed time.  We have dinner with a group of friends tonight. Tomorrow we take Mom for a special birthday dinner.  And we get to see Katy again in a few days!  I will be picking her up at the airport on Thursday.  Sweet.  So we have some serious housework to work in this weekend b/c she is bringing a friend.  So as busy as we are already we have to find time to clean and we want their stay to be special. That said:

I listened to a podcast book yesterday in the car that I'm doing by Peta Kelley called Earth is Hiring.
She is singing my soul in this book.  And I'm hanging on to every word.  I do get a little lost when she talks about aligning oneself with the universe.  That is different language for me as my spirituality and center is God.  So somethings you just have to keep in mind.  But the gist of the book, I like.  That you should be you.  You won't be happy or creative until you do align your world with what is meant to be.  And that your creative flows will be flowing when you are in alignment.  How being in a different place charges your creativeness.  How we don't have to follow what is typically been done in the past.  And how play is very important, even as an adult.  She gets right to the point of things.

And she helps you ask yourself some important questions.  Deep enough that my soul and subpsyche dreamed about it over night.

It is a very charged and deep question to ask oneself - "what drives you?", "What makes you wanna get up in the mornings?"  "What makes you say it was a good day when you hit your head on the pillow at night?"

To be able to answer all these questions, I decided to go deep.  Like really deep into childhood.  So I dug as deep as I could as far back as I can remember as a little girl and growing into adulthood.  Where does one's drive come from?  What makes you want to get out of the bed?  What gives you forward momentum? Well for starters - you had to get out of bed.  You had no choice.  lol

I've always been driven to accomplish my goals, to get the list done. To see the end result.  That is simple in a nutshell.  I wanted to accomplish "the list".  I've always felt there were too many rules.  I've always felt there were too many rules everywhere and that I was doomed that I'd never be able to be perfect to follow all of them.  I've always wanted to be free.  But I've always been a bit afraid of everything.  I was always guarded and protected.  I was always curious.  I always anticipated learning fun and new things.  I always wanted to be loved.  I always liked adventure and going new places.  I always loved to be praised - as in "you did good" or "good job" - it was more about what I did than anything about me personally.  I always wanted to please, but I wanted to do things in my own realm. I've always been very organized.  And while that doesn't seem like a driving force, it has been for me.  I like my world to be mine and to be organized the way I want it to be.  I've always wanted to be in control of my space and my time.  I've not ever really liked authority judging over my life- this is not from a disrespectful standpoint - I just like my own freedom to think, do things my way, think things through and not have to just live by someone else's words or agenda giving my life it's definition.  I like to choose my life path on my own.  I detest criticism and anger and confrontation.  I've never accepted criticism well because I've been around judgmental and opinionated people all my life.  It's made me avoid anything that is debatable in subject matter.  I avoid law, politics, news, and any arguable and debatable point.  I will walk away from an argument or debate at any time.  I loved school and learning.  I hated being on a time schedule though. Yet I do find some comfort in routines as long as the routine can be broken.  I have always liked to be thorough - at least as thorough as I want to be and when I'm done, I'm done.  I never liked reading instructions, I'd rather just dive in. I'm disciplined though enough to do the hard stuff first, get work done and play later.   I've always been afraid of being in a group of people I was not familiar with.  Horrors - getting on the school bus and having to select who to sit with? Or being in a crowd and not knowing who to talk to and just appearing weird.  The fear of the unknown has sometimes held me back.  The fear that a situation will be worse instead of better, has always held me back. I've always been sensitive and have taken people's words to heart which is why I have a protective shell around my heart.  Tears spill easily if I think I've disappointed someone because it was never my intention.  I've disappointed many people and many people have disappointed me.  Because of this my heart has been hardened and I continue to protect it by not allowing any feelings in that could break my heart or anyone elses again.

And those are all the things I can think of that either help or hamper me as far as my drive or lack thereof. All of that is "me" in a nut shell.

So zoom forward to this very day.  Why do I get out of bed?  Well, my dog needed me.  Or I would have kept sleeping.  I do have on my mind the things I want to do today, and the things I want to enjoy today.  I love planning the future, I love getting my list done still.  I like being able to see what I have accomplished.  My list is always way longer because my brain is way bigger than the time I have to do what I have set for myself to do.  I love learning new things.

Is my heart in the right place?  Well I hope so.  Perhaps I should be looking more outward under God's plan for my life to be there for others more.  That is within my plan and my thinking.  But I will be honest.  If we are talking drive here.  I'm all about my list and my agenda. It doesn't mean I don't love anyone else.  It's just the way I'm wired.  I guess I was born with that.  I was probably re-enforced and taught that in my upbringing and especially through school .  You do what you are supposed to, you organize your room, you get your homework, you put up your dishes, you follow these rules and follow this schedule.  You show up on time, be nice to others, take care of your stuff, make your stuff nice and neat, learn, grow.  So that is what I did.  You love and be there for others in the process.  And so has been the days of my life.

So I had to go through this exercise in my sleep apparently last night and this is what I came up with to see what drives me.  It's all about the list.  I see that is why I'm so attracted to George.  He is also all about his list too.

There are times when the agenda needs to be put on hold.  When life is not makings sense, you are off the agenda, or having to follow someone else's agenda, or your mind just needs a break - and I think that is why I like to play games.  I get to work on something other than my life but yet use the skills I have that I enjoy using.

What drives you?

Friday, July 12, 2019

Cooking Adventures and a Braver Itty Bitty Kitty

Yesterday I went to the doctor at 6:00 for my 6:20 appointment and got that over with.  Having to do without coffee in the morning is like being in time out or something.  It's like watching George eat a hot dog on cleanse day, lol.

The initial report is good and the doc says "all good and continue on in your weight loss journey".
Afterwards I went to Starbucks for coffee and a spinach and feta roll up.  I heard that was healthy.  However, the roll up was more like bread and not a tortilla and the feta was very heavy and cheesy.  It was good - don't get me wrong.  But it was not the healthiest option.  It was also a little greasy but maybe that was the cheese.  Anyway - I messed up there.  I didn't even get a shake in yesterday.  That filled me up and I snacked the rest of the day with nuts, imitation crab meat sticks, celery, and the last of some natural peanut butter and rice/nut crackers.  So I didn't want my shake for lunch since I ate that.  I was busy at the desk and didn't really take a lunch to make up for being an hour late due to my doc appt.  Oh but I did go back and make a frozen concoction out of my e+shot, Ionix stress formula, and my fruits.  I blended it with ice.  Very refreshing. 

Anyway, George was mowing last night since the weather was good.  And he had laid out cube steak.  However, the cube steak was very thin and not like a normal cube steak.  It was as thin as I have ever seen.  So I decided they would be like potato chips if I fixed them the normal way.  So I cut it up into bite sizes and decided to do a stir fry of sorts.  I don't ever cook rice b/c I always goof it up.  But I decided there was no reason not to try again as it's been years.  The first problem was finding rice.  We DID have every sort of rice known to man at one time and joked about how we have enough to last til our death.  George is always pointing at rice at the store and going -"need more rice?"  Especially those really huge bags. 

So I googled how to cook rice and I got it down now.  It turned out great.  And I also just googled a stir fry recipe.  And got the gist of what all I needed to do.  I grabbed the hot pepper chili oil, sesame oil, what little soy we had left and the Worcestershire sauce - b/c of not much soy.  lol

It looked like most all was to cook on the highest heat.  I cooked the meat to seer it mainly - not through and through yet b/c it'd be added back in later.  Took it off.  I didn't have onions or I'd have added that in with it.  I did have garlic though.  I forgot to add onion powder, but that is ok it all turned out flavorful.   I also scrambled three eggs over high heat.  Took them off.  And then I had already chopped celery and carrot into fine pieces and I stir fried that with the oils and sauces mentioned above and then when almost tender through and through I added the steak, rice, and egg back in and let it cook some more and simmer. 

As we were eating George said "This was very good".  So yay!  Break through in cooking adventures.  He normally cooks in this format.  To me, this type of cooking has been like climbing a mountain and I was not in the mood to climb it.  But last night I had an open mind and said to myself "you can do this".  And did it. 

I do see now that we need more rice in the house!  I don't go for the white rice anymore.  I will eat it if George fixes it, on occasion but he has been mindful of me not eating the white rice.  It has more sugar I guess (turns to sugar).  Same with white potatoes.  However, to me, if this is a natural sugar - I think we should have that from time to time.  But I prefer brown rice, wild rice, and so forth. 

Anyway, was happy to branch out with my cooking skills beyond just sauces, pastas, soups, salads, desserts etc.  That said, I'm not sure all those oils were good for me.  lol  But at least my bones won't creak.  I should be all ready to rock at this point. 

And I'm really ready for a Cookie Dough shake this morning (Isagenix of course). 

And the next couple of weeks are going to provide a lot of opportunity for overeating and not to healthy eating.  I will do my best but we have a lot - I repeat - a lot of eating out events about to happen.  Today, George and I are going to lunch.  He is off as his company lets Salaried off every other Friday - as long as they work 9 hour days all of the other days.  Only during the summer months though.  Ends Sept 1.  I'm sorry but that is genius and "cool as snot"  - I'm not sure where that phrase came from.  lol  But there it is.  It's a win-win for all and a total morale booster for them. 

The hourly folks may not like it though but they get the OT where as salaried do not.  I just think that is a cool perk. So we get to eat lunch today.

Anyway I need to get off and get ready for work.  But I should tell you that "Itty Bitty Kitty" let us get within 6 inches today.  She just is not ready yet for us to reach out and pet.  But almost.  George says maybe by the weekend we'll get to pet her.  She is getting braver.  And she is so cute.  She will sit and chase her tail.  She thinks her tail is about to get her and she'll hide from it.  She messes and plays with Little Bit - and he tolerates her.  I told him to tell her that we are ok people and that she should be comfortable around us.  I think he told her, b/c she is way more outgoing and unafraid this morning.  She has been building up to it though.  I just want to hold her and love on her so bad.  She has these cute big eyes. 

Well, better go!  Take care. 

Thursday, July 11, 2019

Annual Physical Today...Waiting for Coffee

Not much time...have to be at the doc at 6:20 this morning for my annual physical.  I cannot have anything to eat or drink.  I might be able to have water, but I can't remember what she said.  lol  Sometimes you can have black coffee but usually they don't say that.  It's ok at least it is early and I'm planning a trip to Starbucks on the way in to work as a treat.  That will be a black coffee and no fancy drink.  I'm entertaining possibly getting their oatmeal.  But I'll have stuff for a shake if not. 

Yesterday was ok.  Was able to get a few things going.  We now have 400 emps across 4 plants/transport/sales/and corp office and still just one HR Mgr and her assistant.  lol  No wonder the BP goes up and response time is dwindling.  Hope everyone continues not to mind the wait.  Because...they will.

Had two things to make my day yesterday:  1) Cracker Barrel grilled chicken salad.  I just couldn't do two shakes yesterday coming off of cleanse day  2) Got my pedicure yesterday and nails done.  So relaxing.  Those things really made my day better.  Otherwise I just didn't even want to DO yesterday. 

Sleep was good but short.  We watched a movie "Wedding Crashers".  I thought I'd seen it, but if I had I've forgotten it.  I guess there have been so many of those wedding movies that I thought I'd seen it, but it wasn't familiar once it started on.  It was a cute movie. 

Bed and sleep was good, just needed more snooze time.  I'm pretty sleepy this morning. 

I'm hoping my sugar lab work comes out ok.  I don't eat a lot of sweets and not eat a lot of carbs and hope that body is processing better with the nutrition going in.  I know that stress is keeping my BP up.  So I might need to take more ionix - you can take it up to twice per day.  Also hope the cholesterol continues to come down.  I won't know today but within a week the lab report will come out. 

I need to go finish getting ready so I can get out the door and get this done and over with. 

Hope you all have a great day! 

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Side Wall of a Tent

Going to try to make it a good day despite the odds and negativity in today's world. 

May everyone face their truths today. 

If the shoe fits wear it.  ;-)

We all struggle to be the best we can be.  Often someone else's failures can make us fail too.  They say to keep digging for the why.  Keep digging to the root of the problem. 

When you get there, not everyone wants to look at that.  Usually means someone else screwed up. But I'm grateful for those that will dig to the root of the issues.  Because there are some roots to some problems that need fixing, badly.  lol

God is answering some prayers.  One way or another.  We shall see.

I'm trying to collaborate with another friend on a spiritual book - something different that hasn't been done before, but that requires some different thinking.  Seems like the harder I try to focus on something like this the devil tries to swat it out by breaking my concentration. 

Anyway, yesterday was not a bad day.  But it wasn't a good one either.  It was very unproductive in many ways but it was very revealing in others - and mostly a good way I think.  I hope. 

But at the end of the day when you can crawl in bed and know that you were at least in the spirit of truth, and the Spirit was with you.... you can rest knowing that God answers your prayers, listens, and places your steps.  You can sleep and not stay up and fume or feel regret because He's got this - He takes the yoke and you can Rest in Him.  And you know that no matter what, He's got you.  He places the steps.  He opens the door and closes them.  He lights the way.

Getting up this morning, I really am NOT excited to start this day.  Matter of fact, I'd love to just get in the car, head to the beach and say "screw it all".  I won't.  But that is how I feel. 

After all - the circus is not mine - I'm not in with the monkeys or elephants - I'm just a wee sidewall flap of the tent trying to protect the whole thing from the elements, waving back and forth in the wind and people forget I'm there. 


Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Hamburger Pie and Roger Losing His Hearing

George's tomato plant has some tomatoes.  Will the deer get them? We'll see.  He put netting around it.  It's in a planter and they usually don't come that close to the house.  I sure hope he gets some tomatoes!  That would thrill him.  He's only been able to grow cherry tomatoes as the deer always get the big ones.

Yesterday was not too bad for a Monday.  A few un-pleasantries but nothing outside the ordinary. :-P  You just unhook from it, accept it as not your circus, not your monkeys and go on.  Otherwise you would pull your hair out.  You cannot control others actions (or lack thereof) and you only can control your own and everyone else has to be responsible for themselves (or not as the case may be, lol).  

Also started the day with a 2 hour drive into work.  The road I go in on was shut down.   But had to get over that too.  It is what it is.  Nothing I could control. 

I did two shakes yesterday and made it through just fine.  I'm doing the 11 day shred.  So cutting back the calories a bit.  It's really the same thing we do all the time but we are doing it all as a group.  But I normally only do the one shake per day.  I was proud of all my coworkers yesterday - lined up to do their shake.  You could hear the blender going off a lot.  

We had a good dinner though.  George fixed hamburger pie.  There are biscuits involved.  But it wasn't too many.  He had spinach stuffed vidalia onions as well. 

It wasn't too unhealthy.  We do red meat once or twice a week and try not to eat too much white bread (or any bread really) but I will do some whole grain.  This was enriched flour though I'm sure.  Canned biscuit.  Not the best option but it was good.  

So the Birthday Cake Shake comes back today.  And I'm excited.  I'll order another couple of cannisters.  I wish it would become a permanent flavor.  It taste like cake batter.  lol  

It's not on line yet but it's usually about 9 a.m. when it is up and running.   

I have a new customer that started and checked on her yesterday.   And George and I watched an Alton Brown cooking show he had on DVD.  I got bored and started playing a game I found - it's kind of an escape type game.  It's on my ipad and I forgot what it was called but it's been entertaining and I've made several levels.  I like figuring it out.  But I think you can only go so many levels per day w/o paying for the premium.  That's fine.  Sometimes I just need to do something different with my mind. 

I ended up staying up an hour over my bed time though.  lol  Oh well.  I drank my e-shot later in the day about 5 and it lasts for 5 hours of energy - but it's like having one cup of coffee and all natural ingredients - not filled with sugar - not like an energy drink.  But it will keep you going til 10 if you drink it at 5.  I drank it on the way home so I was awake til 10:30 I think.  I will have to do an earlier one today.  lol

Today is cleanse day and also I have the 7:00 zoom call with our folks.  I think I may point the laptop toward the printer and teddy bear and do exercises while they talk, lol  lol lol   I can't ever get exercises in so maybe this is an option at times.  You don't have to show your face but it's an interaction so it's good to.  But I'll just listen in today and point the laptop cam elsewhere.  Or I could put a sticky note over the camera thing.  But it will be much more entertaining to look at my little teddy bear over there.  

Well, I best get to work.  The only other thing I wanted to say is that I've discovered this week that Roger may have lost most of his hearing.  The last few weeks I just thought he was lazy and didn't want to come out.  And well, he may be that too, but I think he is unable to hear me.  He no longer comes when called - not that he was great at it before but he would always look up, wag his tail, and he always responded to "outside" or "go OUT".  

He is non responsive and it occurred to me that he is not hearing us.  George agreed it seemed like he was losing his hearing.  I kept saying his name yesterday over and over while he was in my office with me and he finally looked up when I shouted it loudly.  So he can hear some.  He was like "what is that noise?"  Maisy looked at me like she was scared b/c I was loud.  lol  But this makes me so sad.  He used to wag his tail when you would talk to him and now he can't tell when you talk to him.   George thinks he is about 10 years old.  How do the years go by so fast.  Our little Roger.  So sweet.  He's laying here now and will not look up at me when I call his name anymore.  

See you tomorrow. 

Monday, July 8, 2019

Shopping Day and Crispy Chicken

Fixed a big Raspberry Cheese cake shake and added frozen strawberries.  Was so good.  It lasted a long while. Gonna have chocolate mint today.

George's cousin came over and spent some time with us.  I gave her the chocolates and some samples of things from our system.  

Then I headed out to Walmart for an ironing board and to basically just walk through the whole store and see what was there.  I don't get out and actually shop in stores anymore and it was great therapy for me.  I made some very simple improvements to the house and bought a couple of things I have been wanting and all of it was a big morale booster for me.  

I bought a rug for the bathroom that was very pretty and actually very reasonable.  I bought a "Rain" showerhead, and a new bathroom caddy as the old one was rusting, and a new mat for the bathtub.  I bought a skinny water container that keeps water cold or coffee hot.  Fits in the backpack easily.  And I bought a water infuser pitcher that was very inexpensive that keeps the fruit/cucumbers back when you infuse and pour your water.  It doesn't fit in the fridge but it does have an insert you fill with ice. 

And I bought the new ironing board.  I also bought 3 linen tops that were very cute.  And very cheap.  I'm still rocking the "NO MORE PLUS SIZE" and loving that.  Because the other section has so many more cute things.  I get discouraged with myself at times b/c I think I should be further along but I have to remember that I'm no longer having to wear 2X.  I look at the 2X's now on the rack and they are so big to me.  So I am grateful that I'm able to lose because I've not been able to do that before.

So after I was through with the home section, I went to the grocery section.  And bought a red pepper, cucumber, avocado, and several other things George wanted.  I chopped when I got home and then made dinner for us.  

George had mowed and had just finished when a big pop corn thunderstorm rolled through with heavy heavy rain and lightning and a bit of wind.  I had just gotten in the car from loading my groceries and pulled out to head home.   George got my showerhead up for me, however, he had to go get some tape to be able to do it.  I am thankful that he was able to do it.  I thought I could screw one off and put the other on but it's not that simple.  I do wish I'd bought one of these a long time ago.

George  bought potatoes at Sam's for our party at Paul and Judy's and then sent the rest home of what was not used.  Tried to let them keep them but they sent them with us.  So we'll be having a lot of taters in the next week.

Oh and I am so excited.  I found a recipe that helps you have crispy chicken and I think Katy may have fixed something similar once and they talked about this on Eat This Not That podcast.  But when I followed some simple steps - this tasted like fried chicken.  It was so good.  This pic below is raw, before it was cooked. 

After it's cooked you are supposed to let it sit for about 10 to 15 to let the juices settle but we ended up diving in, lol.  Which is why there are no pics.  So I will forever be fixing this kind of chicken and next time I want to try making the Nashville hot.  Here's what I did different: 

1.  Patted the chicken dry with a paper towel
2.  Rubbed it with grape seed oil (it's not as good for you as olive oil but works better with heat - however, recipe called for olive oil so I guess it's ok.)  
3.  Had my rub made out ahead of time.  I used salt, pepper, hot pepper flakes, garlic powder, and onion powder and mixed it all up and then poured the rub on each chicken piece and put pinches of it underneath the skin.  Having the skin on is important (and now they say it's imperative for minerals and vitamins to be carried through your body anyway and good for your brain). So be sure and rub BOTH the oil and the rub underneath the skin.  
4.  The recipe said to cook about 35 minutes.  It gave no temp to the oven but did give a temp to the chicken with a thermometer.  However, we always cook chicken for 45 min on 350 and that is what I did.  George turned it up a little later b/c we had potatoes and also a vidalia onion baking in the oven too. 

It turned out Sooo crispy.  So now I'm going to try making some Nashville Hot!  I'm so excited to be able to bake chicken in the oven and have it taste as fried as everything.  And George told me later that my dinner was really good.  ;-)  

Then we watched a movie - Madea's family reunion.  It was much better than I thought.  

And I better get going and get off of here.  I have a lot to conquer today - and this week.  

The 11 day shred begins.  I am going to transfer to $$ to our personal account to cover some of my San Antonio splurges and yesterday's walmart splurges, and I'll check on George's cousin and I need to let all my folks know the birthday cake shake is coming back tomorrow.   And I need to thank Paul and Judy for the wonderful time the other night.  I need to wrap Mom's birthday gifts too.  But may wait til Saturday for that.  Still have one more gift coming in by Amazon and hope it gets here in time.  

So ya'll take care and have a great day!  

Sunday, July 7, 2019

Surprise Invite, Pool Time, Freezer Inventory Surprise

Well, another quiet morning at the house.  Mainly doing laundry and ironing and working on next week's wardrobe.  All the Isagenix is organized and all the orders coming together for the next Target order.  And I told George we needed to look through the deep freeze and make of list of what all is in it.  We eat a few things on top - buy more sale meat at the grocery because we know we have room and it goes on top and we never rotate or eat to the bottom.  So we went through yesterday and I'm almost embarrassed to tell you that we have 83 ish something meals in the house (meats).  So we are not buying any more meat for a long time.  That said, I'm sure George will want to buy the seafood pack again, but honestly we've not finished the last one. We have a lot of salmon and halibut cheeks which are a delicacy and we have savored those, always wanting to have them in our freezer.   

So in the process of going through the freezer we put frozen food in the laundry basket which we had sitting on top of the ironing board.  Neither one of us gave thought or consideration to the fact that the ironing board would not be able to withstand the pressure.  So much to our surprise the ironing board buckled - I mean the metal legs twisted and everything and meat went everywhere.  So today I have to go get a new ironing board. I looked on Amazon and even though there is free shipping, they up the price of it enough to cover the shipping so it's way more expensive that way.  I'm pretty sure that is how they do most things but most things are still pretty reasonable and worth not having to spend the time to go see and shop for it.  (Which I like to do but have too much going to be able to do). lol 

So I had my chicken thawing for dinner and had plans to cook a chicken dinner for us and had looked up the recipe.  But at lunch time fixed some popcorn and sat down to watch my shows.  As it does almost every Saturday, Comcast decided not to work.  If I don't get them watched early in the day I'm not going to get to watch them unless I'm on my phone on ATT watching and I get so much enjoyment watching on the big screen, that I don't want to do that.   But I could not get the internet to work.  Rebooting will sometimes work.  Calling Comcast and using the automated boost function - (their reboot test) has always worked.  But nothing worked yesterday.  And not only was Comcast internet out, my AT&T phone service would not work either.  So I'm not sure what the deal is.  We must have some kind of bubble around our house that won't allow technology to work.  lol 

I think I finally called Comcast a second time to get someone on the phone and in the process of waiting for a person, we got "juice" as they say.  Isn't that weird how it suddenly words when you get someone on the phone?  I guess they gave me the power and knocked someone else off at that point?  It seems to be not enough to go around so who ever calls get its back.  So I just end up worrying the absolute toot out of them all the time.  I pay 200 something a month for our package and for this to happen is not acceptable. They are going to have to spend some money and get better service out in this area. 

Then George got a phone call and we were invited to go over to Paul and Judy's and eat steaks and Paul wanted George to go with him to Sam's to get the steaks.  They wanted Cowboy Steaks.  But they didn't have a Sam's card and we do.  So the guys went and got the steaks and George came home and got me.  

Meanwhile I took Maisy out as Roger was in a deep sleep and I didn't bother him.  But she and I went to check on Itty Bitty Kitty and she came out and just looked at me.  She wants to play but is so scared.  She is so cute and will just play with anything she sees (but me).  But I am allowed to get closer before she gets frightened.  I took Maisy in the house and came back out.  And I sat on the porch with some treats and set them very close to me.  She couldn't stand not having the treats and finally came up about a foot from me and at the treats.  I didn't move or even look at her so as not to scare her.  I was thinking I wish George could see this.  And about that time the car turned the corner and he pulled in and I pointed where he could see.  He was impressed.  He also has been able to get Itty Bitty Kitty to come a foot close to him.  So we are inching closer.  

Then we went over to Paul and Judy's and had a blast with their family that is visiting.  It was so much fun.  I'm usually a pretty quiet person in chatting but had a great time talking.  It was very comfortable for me.  I'm often uneasy at dinner parties but do my best to converse and this was really nice and I enjoyed it very much and really like their precious family that was visiting (daughter and her family). 

And look at how big these steaks were.  I think they caught on fire at the end.  But oh my gosh they were so good.  These are the Cowboy Steaks bought at Sam's.  We split it among us all.  The kids had hamburgers and hot dogs and ate first and then we all ate next.  Ahhh it was so good. 

We had wine with dinner.  Maybe some before and after.  lol  We ate poolside.  And we enjoyed the pool after dinner.  And everyone loved trying to jump on and ride Rip Snort.  

A few have conquered a few seconds.  But then as your weight settles in, you lose it entirely.  lol  This has kept everyone entertained for hours! 

I was horrified thought to learn that my cousin and her hubby that bought a new RV had a fire in it this weekend when the a/c unit caught fire and landed on the bed and caught that on fire.  My cousin was able to get the fire out I guess.  I'm not sure all of the details, but they are ok.  But very disappointed.  I'm not sure if under warranty or what.  But that is harrowing.

And I saw this shirt on Facebook.  Pretty funny.

So yeah, there's that.  

Sleep was good last night and since I've been up early and stayed up late the last few nites, I slept in.  George let me sleep.  We missed church.  I am ok with that for today.  I will do a devo and will be able to get more done today since I didn't get finished yesterday - but having a Saturday to just spur of the moment change plans was great.  

So today I'll be going to Walmart to get an ironing board, lol.  I have George's cousin coming over to get some chocolates for cleanse day.  I'm giving her some of mine, as I thought the 11 day shred thing was not going to include the chocolates on cleanse day but it is and I didn't tell her to order any so I'm just going to give her some of mine as she wouldn't have time to get them in.  She will come by after lunch time and then after that I'll go to Walmart.  

Other things to do today is: 

___Cook the chicken dinner at the appointed time
___Do some work in the business and revise a few things in my tools
___Do some follow ups and connecting
___Exercise program via YouTube (if the Comcast internet works)
___Remove some songs from iTunes that I do not like. (George has used mine at times and I get to work and have things on my itunes that are weird and don't like and have to come home and remove it, lol.)
___Check with George about a LTD bill (Got a notice that it was not paid yet where I ordered something on line. So need to make sure it has been.)
___Print expenses since May 6th. 
___Watch Kate plus Date
___Finish any other shows missing
___Try out a new game I downloaded

So pretty much a relaxing day working, shopping, cooking and getting some exercise and fun in too.  I'm feeling good and stoked about it.  I'm excited about the week ahead.  Will be doing the 11 day shred. I won't be doing it to the tee but I do plan on having reduced calorie days and doing two shakes per day instead of my usual one.  And adding in more exercise that normal. We have zoom call Tues nite too.  I'll be doing my cleanse day then.  I have a my nails and toes scheduled for Wed nite.  I have a physical Thursday which will be very important for me.  I'll be tested on the blood sugar and also will be weighed and also will be seeing how my blood pressure is doing on the new meds.  Then Friday George is off and is coming to have lunch with me.  So I'll not be doing my shred then.  
Then next Saturday we take the dogs to get rabies shots and then have dinner with our Crouchety Gourempt group (not spelled correctly on purpose).  Yes we have a Facebook group.  Sunday we have a wonderful day planned with Mom in advance of her birthday.  So big week ahead.  

I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday.  And a great week ahead.  

Saturday, July 6, 2019

Bowls of Light

You didn't realize I could balance bowls of light on my head?  
Me neither.  lol  I like the color and cut.  It's so much easier to manage than when it grows out longer.  I keep trying to let it grow and I'm happy for a while and then I'm ready for it to be back.  

Dropped the blonde.  Didn't have more fun.  Brunette's where it's at. Back to me!  

I had to change the blog look.  Every time I came to the blog the association of doing the San Antonio blog them took me to remembering the past couple of days blog posts.  The connection was too strong and I had to change the blog to something different - something that brought more peace.  I was doing that graphic work when I read the comment that I posted about the last couple of days and I just needed to shed those feelings.  Kinda sad b/c I was so proud of the new look.  And we had a great time on our trip. But the blog look didn't bring me joy since I was angry and hurt at the time I did the graphic and the association was too strong.  Oh well.  Weird how our minds work.  Now maybe I can forget it.  

The day was better yesterday and was able to get some things out of the way.  Went to lunch with my assistant and got the protein + the angel hair pasta - which is better than a whole plate of pasta.  

Twas a nice little meal. Good times talking. 

And since it's holiday mode - I left a bit early (don't worry - plenty days I've stayed later) to get gas and then get our BBQ dinner. Was a very quick drive home as most folks out of town or at least holidaying off somewhere and not on the roads.   Much to my surprise George was home already and taking the dogs out.  

So we had an early dinner and then watched TV.  I downloaded some games on my ipad to just see what all new is out there.  Not much that was for me.  

I'm happy it is Saturday.  I suppose I will tackle some things on my list and clean a bit.  Do my normal thing.  Looks like a rainy day is in store.  

I'm looking at my Joy Meter that I created for myself.  I'm a 4 out of a 10.  I'm extremely happy it's Saturday but trying to figure out why the joy is not there.  Have spent some mindful time this morning just letting the thoughts flow.  It's a great way to figure out what is going on. Your sub-psyche starts to emerge.  And you start to be honest with yourself and you start to see things for what they really are.  I think there is just nothing that I'm really excited over to outweigh all the things that annoy me, bother me, or are just flat unacceptable to me.  But to fix them would be very scary and outlandish and over the top, and still not sure would bring joy so just let it be eh?  So carry on and trust God to lead through the maze of life. And hope that he puts joy spots and hope centers up every few corners - kinda like little Walgreen's everywhere.  lol

And with that said I'm going to go get started on my list and the rest of my "bad ass life".  lol 
Yep, I probably need a bowl of light sitting on my head these days.  

Friday, July 5, 2019

And the Rest of July 4th...Relaxing and Calm

We had storms yesterday afternoon and a lot of rain.  It was nice actually for us since we didn't have to be out in it.  A completely relaxing day.  

I got on the floor to be next to Roger and thought about taking a nap myself.  However, the floor is hard. lol   So I just took pics of Sir Sleeping Sweetness. 

Meanwhile cringing over in the corner is Ms. Maisy and scared of every boom of thunder. 

With both storms and fireworks in one day - by end of day she was chilling pretty good.  I think at some point I guess she decided that the booms were not hurting her.  But she stayed close to me every minute.

I let the previous day comment "get to me" (previous two entries).   Usually lately I let things roll off.  Maybe I misinterpreted the meaning of how it was said. I took it as fact instead of a perhaps that is what someone else is thinking.  And that is entirely different.  I was raised in "literal" terminology - Southern Bible Belt - so I do indeed take everything and hear everything literally.   So I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.  You can't tell in writing how it was meant.  So I apologize for the tear if I hurt anyone's feelings.  However, what I did say is an accurate account of what IS and how I feel and so that I'm not apologizing for.  I am a defensive person by nature because I've had to be most of my life to protect my persona.  It's complicated.  So yesterday's rant was in protecting of me more than a lash at anyone.  If that makes sense.  I'm ready to move on.  That said, b/c I let it get to me I didn't get to do the things I intended to do as I sat and stewed over that.

Also Comcast took about an hour of my time as when I DID try to watch my shows the internet would go down.  Every. Time.  I've decided I'd worry the toot out of them Every. Time. then. lol  So now they are automated and have an automated thing reboot but I made a person come on because I told them I didn't want a temporary fix for the day, but I wanted it to be a permanent fix.   So a technician is coming July 27.  We have company coming that day but will be at home so a good day to do it.  Til then we will work with a slow and waning signal.  It seems to be during peek times when it fizzles on us.  Often it is a 3 in the afternoon and at night around 7 and 8 and mid afternoon on Sat and Sunday.

So I let those issues take up my precious getting things done time.   I meant to look up RV rentals, watch Kate Plus Date, Catch up on my Shows. And start my John Denver book.  But it's ok.  Other than those moments above, it was a wonderful and relaxing day.  And our lamb dinner and potatoes were excellent.  I had a birthday shake for lunch too and I forgot just how good those things are.

Something is coming July 9th with Isagenix.  The announcement had sprinkles about - so wondering if birthday shake is going to be a permanent shake.  I hope so.  I added a banana to it yesterday and my gosh the flavor was better than banana pudding.

I saw these posted on social media of my friends/group.  I've already done the coffee - but it wasn't cold brew.  It was warm brew left over.  lol  I have thought about freezing the left over coffee in ice cubes though.

Then this was posted.  Now I've been taking our lemon line hydrate and adding ice to it and blending that for a mid afternoon slushy while watching my shows on the weekends.  I will have to try using coconut water with it.  Typically I've not been a fan of coconut water but mixed might be ok.  

I love our hydrate drinks.  They taste like Gatorade but the ingredients are better for you.  

I did start my next Target order and also got a birthday gift ordered and some laundry done.  But most of all I feel relaxed today and ready to do what feels like a "one day work week" now as George puts it.  Hoping today in HR is a quiet one and we are left alone to get things accomplished other than just rake in the requests.  I only get about an hour or two or three a day of full concentration.  It's usually around lunch (esp if I do not take one myself) and then again around 3 or 4.  I'm usually working good and finally getting to my stack about the time to go home.  Sometimes I stay a bit later to finish at least "something" but when I do it infringes upon my home time and so I try not to stay so I at least have 3 hours at home to do chores, eat, spend time with George, doggies, and have a few minutes of personal time. 

So I get to go out to lunch with my assistant today.  Looking forward to that.  I think it'll be a good day for it.  But hoping everyone is off today and will let us get some things done.  There is more and more work coming to HR and I'm not sure we'll be able to take it on.  I expect there will be some change at that point of some type.  I just can't keep taking on more and more.  I already can't get things done.  I've asked for help but there's just the two of us in the dept.  Anyway this is not the place that I will go into those for I will surely go off into a rant and rage and then be called back to the office the next day. lol  We don't want that.  No trips to the principal office for telling the truth. Isn't that about the way it is today?  The ones spilling the truth always gets in trouble.  Thus along the lines of no good deed goes unpunished.  So true. 

Anyway.  No wonder I love to think about travel and adventures.  It takes you away to happy places and closer to God and away from things that bother you, make you sad, or make you mad.  You get the pleasant side of people instead of the ---well let's just call it "the other side" of people. 

I've been able to type longer than I thought as I allowed myself to sleep in a bit.  But I need to go and get a head start on getting ready and out the door.  It's jeans and tee shirt day!  

Ya'll have a great Friday.  Most of you are off.  Don't feel sorry for me.  I'm actually glad to go and try to have a day to get some things done at the desk.  Usually around a holiday you can get more done.  It's inventory weekend for a lot of folks at our work though so there is that.  Hopefully they will all be busy with that.  A lot of my interruptions come from employees and outside vendors and such.  And even on Friday's without it being a holiday a lot of places are taking off at Noon for their salaried folks.  Now that is nice!  Would never happen at my place of work. lol  

Oh I forgot to say that we watched Eddie Murphy in A Thousand Words and it was a really cool and funny movie. I laughed so hard. 

Anyway gone this time!  Bye.