Well, I've noticed I have fewer comments now. That was always ok. If I had two or three I was grateful. And I checked the readership and it's down. There is a downward trend. I guess the blogs are just not as interesting as some of the other things. It's always been that way but I've always had 80 to 100 visit the blog daily at least. I think it's down to about half that now. I blame myself in many ways because I've not shared my feelings as much as I used to. People get so dang out of shape to realize you have a "feeling or two" and it's like you have no right to it when they find out you do. You get punished always for saying what you really feel. And people misjudge, make it harder on you, mistreat you, and such. So I don't say hardly at all what I'm really thinking anymore. So I get it. There is no juicy gossip or material here- ha.
All the blog buddies are pretty much gone now for real and hardly poke around any more. It's been that way for a long time for most bloggers from AOL days. They quit a long time ago with facebook and instagram and so much holding their attention. Our community was busted out and blogger took it over but the connectivity was never the same. Blogger's follower tool doesn't do what AOL's did. I guess the alert system is just not the same either. I don't know why but the follower button doesn't do what it should. No one seems to use it. But I held my own and still had lots of visitors regardless.
I have not usually promoted my blog either. Every now and then I would post it in Facebook. But I really didn't want to encourage certain groups of people to follow. The Trolls. The ones that are just there to stir up trouble. I could pimp my blog as they called it in the old days, but why do that? I mainly write for myself. But it does help knowing that someone is reading. I guess in my life of blogging I've felt that there is SOMEONE, at least one or two that really care about me or how I feel and so it feels like I'm writing to an old friend. Otherwise, I'd just go private, but I like the fact that it's a public blog because of the unknown. I've made so many friends before by having the blog. Instant friends pop up in nearly every town I'm in. I'll never forget going to LA. Long time, blog buddies popped up everywhere.
Anyway it was just an observation. Kinda sad to see the numbers about 40% down from a year ago. It makes you wonder - was it something I said? Something I didn't say? Am I not interesting now? Do I not share my feelings enough?
It's true I have been consumed with so many other things and I've not had time to put much of an effort into the blog - it's been very over the top and distant in content. Mainly due to time more than just being private. Although as mentioned above, I've reined it in a bit b/c of the fear that people will twist and turn as they do. (Get a life! I' m sorry - I guess my feelings are coming out NOW!) lol
I mainly write for myself, but in doing so - what would YOU like to see more about? Hear more about? Less about? I'll never know for the ones who are gone already. Maybe I should start a new blog and one themed a bit different? But there is risk in losing the ones you have.
I will say I have been a bit blue in the last few days. Blue is a stronger word than I need. I'm not really depressed. I'm just feeling.....let me try to do what I can to describe it because I'm not sure myself.
___Content to just be and not do anything (wow I wasn't expecting to say that)
___Like I should be on a different path in a different place
___Like something is amiss
___Like I don't have any feelings really
___Discouraged that I have little control over a lot of things (shall remain undefined)
___Encouraged that God knows the desires of my heart and is there for me
___Feel like I'm handling things as best as they can be handled
___Discouraged that certain people have let me down
___Encouraged that I have been able to handle it like a Rock Star (maybe that is not a good analogy as they often do drugs, lol)
___That I need to be working on something different or doing something different
___A different calling coming and trying to figure it out
These are the best things I can think of to describe my feelings. I just feel sad in a way but content. Lonely in a way but yet not alone.
Anyway, life is good. Life is fine. I have shelter, dogs, family and friends that love me, Notice the dogs came first. No one loves me like they do. No one shows love like they do. I'm grateful for what I have - food (and good nutritious food at that), and shelter, and I have the dreams too. Even though others don't have the same ones and so that means I have to work hard to be able to meet them on my own. But that's ok. You can't force your dreams on anyone else. It's sad to me to watch other couples share the same dream and enjoy it together. Did I just say that? OMG - I should change that right now. I should be happy for them that they enjoy their time together. As for me and RVing, and adventures, I feel I'm pretty much alone in that arena. So I admit I'm jealous to see other couples going out and doing this - on their adventures.
I'm not sure why God made me so adventurous when I'm scared of everything! I guess I just love a good adventure. I know I'll get it someday. But time is ticking. I may have to hire an RV driver lol. A new version of Driving Ms. Daisy. It'll be "Caravanning with Ms. Cox". lol
Hopefully I can obtain the RV or Luxury Van while I can still drive. But I need a Mac Computer first. I'll also be checking into the rental RV thing again. There's just not a lot of vacay days left that aren't spoken for this year. But I need to start planning for next year. We'll see what we can do to temporarily stave off this craving I have!
Anyway, I'm off of here to 1) get more coffee 2) Fix a shake as I'm starving since it's been cleanse day. 3) Get to work. I wasn't able to get anything in my stack done for all the new things coming in. In two days I've not touched my FOOT HIGH stack other than to add things to it, lol. Oh well. I was hoping this week would be better, but as I've said before, since we don't have proper help - if everyone else doesn't mind waiting, I don't mind making them wait. And someone or something is definitely going to be waiting b/c there is not enough of us to go around. Whatever. I just try to roll with flow. And the flow may take us ALL down. lol We are getting ROLLED over for sure. All one can do is ask for help and that has been checked off the list. It's still just two of us though so .....everyone waits. Fine with me. I can't work any longer or harder so it is what it is. ;-) If no one else minds, neither do I. Wait they will.
And I'm leaving on that note! But...I'm getting my hair cut and colored tonight, and we are going to dinner after and to the grocery - so big long day.