Saturday, July 6, 2019

Bowls of Light

You didn't realize I could balance bowls of light on my head?  
Me neither.  lol  I like the color and cut.  It's so much easier to manage than when it grows out longer.  I keep trying to let it grow and I'm happy for a while and then I'm ready for it to be back.  

Dropped the blonde.  Didn't have more fun.  Brunette's where it's at. Back to me!  

I had to change the blog look.  Every time I came to the blog the association of doing the San Antonio blog them took me to remembering the past couple of days blog posts.  The connection was too strong and I had to change the blog to something different - something that brought more peace.  I was doing that graphic work when I read the comment that I posted about the last couple of days and I just needed to shed those feelings.  Kinda sad b/c I was so proud of the new look.  And we had a great time on our trip. But the blog look didn't bring me joy since I was angry and hurt at the time I did the graphic and the association was too strong.  Oh well.  Weird how our minds work.  Now maybe I can forget it.  

The day was better yesterday and was able to get some things out of the way.  Went to lunch with my assistant and got the protein + the angel hair pasta - which is better than a whole plate of pasta.  

Twas a nice little meal. Good times talking. 

And since it's holiday mode - I left a bit early (don't worry - plenty days I've stayed later) to get gas and then get our BBQ dinner. Was a very quick drive home as most folks out of town or at least holidaying off somewhere and not on the roads.   Much to my surprise George was home already and taking the dogs out.  

So we had an early dinner and then watched TV.  I downloaded some games on my ipad to just see what all new is out there.  Not much that was for me.  

I'm happy it is Saturday.  I suppose I will tackle some things on my list and clean a bit.  Do my normal thing.  Looks like a rainy day is in store.  

I'm looking at my Joy Meter that I created for myself.  I'm a 4 out of a 10.  I'm extremely happy it's Saturday but trying to figure out why the joy is not there.  Have spent some mindful time this morning just letting the thoughts flow.  It's a great way to figure out what is going on. Your sub-psyche starts to emerge.  And you start to be honest with yourself and you start to see things for what they really are.  I think there is just nothing that I'm really excited over to outweigh all the things that annoy me, bother me, or are just flat unacceptable to me.  But to fix them would be very scary and outlandish and over the top, and still not sure would bring joy so just let it be eh?  So carry on and trust God to lead through the maze of life. And hope that he puts joy spots and hope centers up every few corners - kinda like little Walgreen's everywhere.  lol

And with that said I'm going to go get started on my list and the rest of my "bad ass life".  lol 
Yep, I probably need a bowl of light sitting on my head these days.  

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